Reading Julie Sibert's last two posts regarding Your Excuses for "NO Sex" and "5 Things You MUST Know If You're Denying your husband Sex" has reminded me of the awful excuses I used to make.
Aside from physical limitations or health conditions as mentioned by Julie, what are the true reasons for saying NO to sex with your husband?
Men need sex like a fish needs water to live in. Men need sex like they need air to breathe. There was a point in my marriage that even if I had known that, I would have cared little. That was wrong of me. Sex is crucial for a marriage to withstand the erosion of the world. God created it to be so.
If you are saying NO to sex, can you determine the underlying cause?
What has changed from the early-married days when you couldn't keep your hands off each other?
Are you or your spouse acting like a parent, telling each other what should or shouldn't be thought or done?
Are there episodes of anger in the household?
Are there few uplifting encouraging words (but lots of criticism)?
When's the last time you hugged your spouse and smiled into their eyes?
Is there infidelity in the house (whether an emotional affair, true affair or pornography)?
Rediscover the two people who fell in love. Examine what may have changed. Having both spouses agree, open a dialogue exploring what may have changed, using tactful words, with an understanding you are going to 'hear' each other and not have a nuclear melt down of hurt feelings.
Sex is THEE prescription for a magical marriage. You can't wait to fix everything else and THEN reconnect through sex. I'm tellin' ya, beautiful ladyfish, marriage repair and sex go hand in hand.
AND, if the health of your marriage is good and you are still saying NO.....????
Don't wait another minute to say YES!