It’s Libido Monday! Why do I write about remedies for
low libido? Because, it doesn’t have to stay that way! Do you have
the desire to change? Then start trying to make it happen.
If it weren’t for outside intervention, my libido would be
chronically low. My intervention started in a small room in my
heart. Not with a close cluster of good friends and family, just the
Holy Spirit urging me to embrace this part of marriage with irreverent
reverence.
Today I offer just one suggestion for your intervention.
“Do not
be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and
petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God,” Philippians 4:6.
PRAYER
I’m not sorry to be a clanging gong and noisy
cymbal when it comes to prayer. PRAYER is paramount. It tethers you
with Thee One who created sex for intimacy in marriage.
I never dreamed that I would pray to God about sexual
desire. It felt like I was praying for a new Ferrari, at
first. Wasn’t it frivolous to want to have sexual desire? Wasn’t
that just fluff? I should pray for my needs, not my wants. However,
Mr. Muscle felt strongly that sexual desire on my part wasn’t just fluff.
Pray for
libido resources to be revealed.
Pray for sources to come your way that may help you understand HOW
to increase your sexual desire. Every situation is different. Unfortunately,
there is no ‘cure all.’ Female Viagra sounds enticing. However,
a quick fix may not be the right fix. I am not discounting that
God could bestow a libido miracle if he wanted. But, maybe part of your
walk with God will involve being proactive with your married sex life.
Intentional Libido: Be intentional with your sexual
intimacy by taking that part of your life by the…..shoulders. Start
reading, start googling, start talking to your friends and healthcare
workers. Ask God to guide you to the knowledge you need to increase
your libido for yourself and your husband. Be open to the unorthodox
(not unethical or ‘sketchy’, just outside of the box a little), you never know
where help may come.
Pray for
relaxed communication with husband.
Let your hubby in on the secret. You are trying to
improve your libido. Things got a lot better when Mr. Muscle and I
got comfortable talking outside of the bedroom about our sex life.
If there are concerns or ideas along the way that may make your
husband sensitive, pray for the exact right moment and words to convey your thoughts. You
may want to tell him you need …..
1) encouragement and positive words during the rendezvous.
2) more time to get in the mood, like a whole day.
3) a different technique (rough, gentle, faster, slower).
4) more non-sexual touch (affection) through the day. Etc….
God will give your husband an open heart to hear and accept what
you have to say.
Pray for
an attitude shift.
Find your jolly heart. Laughter and orgasm release
nearly the same amount of feel good bonding chemicals in your brain. Your
jolly heart will reshape the sexual encounter into a rendezvous, tryst,
sexcapade, etc., not just a chore.
My jolly heart likes an inside joke. Sometimes I wear
seductive undies. I think it’s funny because if the public only knew
what this middle aged woman occasionally has on under her capris….and it makes
me feel a little sexy, even when the persona I show to the world isn’t.
“A merry
heart doeth good like a medicine, but a broken spirit drieth the bones,”
Proverbs 17:22.
Ask your
husband to pray with you and for you regarding your sexual intimacy. In
addition to libido, he can pray for ways to make you more comfortable and
encouraged in the bedroom. He can pray how to connect with you more
emotionally outside of the bedroom to eliminate all obstacles in regaining your
libido.
Beautiful ladyfish, know that God will answer your prayers
positively!! God desires families to be strong. Families
are strong through spiritual, emotional and physical unity of the mama and
papa. Part of this unity comes from a satisfying sexual experience
for both husband and wife.
If your husband is not as strongly connected to his faith as you,
this may be a way to solidify his belief in God. As he witnesses you
actively praying for answers to improve his most favorite ‘bonding time’, and seeing
positive steps being made, hubby may begin to realize that there is something
to this ‘faith’ stuff.
LOW LIBIDO IS NOT EXCLUSIVE TO FEMALES. Does hubby have the low libido? Start praying these things for him.
What have I forgotten? Please share your ideas or
experiences about what other specific items can be prayed for regarding
regaining libido.
Linking with The Alabaster Jar: Marital Oneness Monday
Linking with Tolovehonorandvacuum: Wifey Wednesday
Linking with Unveiled Wife: Wednesday Link-Up Party
Yes, yes, yes! Also, pray that God will show you the everyday ways your husband is being your hero. Pray to see and appreciate the ways he provides and protects you and the family you have together. There is nothing more exciting and arousing than having your prince ride in to defend your castle.
ReplyDeleteHi Patty! I'm so glad you've left these wonderful words of wisdom on praying for our hero's!
DeleteI can attest that praying for increased desire for my husband has been one prayer that has been answered in an Ephesians 3:20 way!
ReplyDeleteFor years I was depressed and eventually on medications that caused my sex drive to get stuck in park. And it was in park for almost 4 years while I was on the meds. I started praying and two years later my husband now complains that I am almost always initiating. Before, I turned him down on a regular basis. Now, I have to restrain myself when he walks in the door from work.
I don't find it strange to pray about the sexual side of my marriage any more. And knowing God has answered this particular prayer in ways I have not even begun to imagine, helps increase my faith that He will do the same for all areas of my marriage. If I just ask...
Sheridan, what a beautiful testimony! Thank you for sharing your story. AMEN to your last paragraph. It will give others HOPE and encouragement to pray about a side of life not many think to pray about.
ReplyDeleteIt is refreshing what you have shared.I am glad that I am connected to God who knows my needs and who will satsify me in a way that no viagra can.Thank you and God bless you!
ReplyDeleteI can only hope...after 2 kids, college work, chores, freelance graphic design, I have NO time to even think about sex. To me it seems like praying for God to give me my drive back is like....asking God if it's ok to watch porn. A "not going to happen" situation. I was told getting right with God would make my desire for my husband stronger, but it's gone the opposite way. I can only hope he'll show me what I'm doing wrong or what's causing my body to act like this.
ReplyDeleteIt's starting to cause a strain in our marriage.
I know God is rejoicing that you desire to make your marriage stronger through sexual intimacy! I truly wish to help you with this issue.
DeleteI think I hear you saying you are exhausted and that spirituality and sex are not compatible. Being exhausted is the #1 reason why women have low desire. I bet your husband would happily chip in on some housework to help you save some energy.
As kids, we get the message that sex is bad, sex is a sin….but we don’t get the rest of the story. After marriage, sex is a God-created, God-approved act of intimacy. Gen. 1:28, the first commandment given to man and woman is go forth and multiply….go forth and have sexual relations. God wants your marriage to thrive, not just survive. Asking God to give you desire for your husband (or to give you the resources to figure out HOW to have desire for your husband) is not the same as asking to watch porn. Asking God to rekindle your desire for your husband is praying for a healing so that both of you can carry out 1Cor.7:5.
You said that ‘getting right with God’ is not helping you with your desire but the opposite. My thought here is that in reconnecting with God, maybe you’ve dredged up some of the things you were taught about sex in earlier life…perhaps that ‘sex is dirty?’ I would suggest you read Intimacy Ignited, it’s two couples (Dillow & Pintus) writing about the Song of Solomon. It gives insight into God’s view of beautiful sexual intimacy.
Wanted to shqre that this is on point! I was tired and overwhelmed about having sexual relations. My libido was very very low but after prayer and getting off of birth control pills my sexual libido has risen. I still have a ways to go but my husband is happier seeing a change. We have been very vocal about our emotions and needs with open, honest & respectful communication. I shared this with my doctor and she agreed that the pills did have an affect on my libido. Thank you God for answered prayers!
ReplyDelete