Family Crisis and Intimacy

Libido Monday was christened last week, and this week I am writing about the near opposite.

When medical crisis, family emergencies and family conflict invade the peace of life, libido may be the first thing to disappear.  The emotional and physical energy of tending to the needy, tends to drain the libido tank. 

Intimacy is not always sexual in nature.  However, the sweet communion of tenderness and intertwining can be the prescription for a drained spirit, ladies.  The closeness of skin and contact with your other half can help you feel vital and alive.

For your husband, beautiful ladyfish, intimacy can be giving your spouse space.  Give men time to process weighty emotional matters.  Their brains are wired differently and truly take longer to evaluate their emotions.  It’s not that they want to be difficult or appear less intelligent.  We’ll discuss male brain structure and function in regards to verbal and emotional processing more fully in a later post.  


In times of heavy emotional crisis, applying the knowledge of Michael Gurian's, 'Intimate Separateness,' can be helpful.  Intimate separateness gives men time to process.  It just means, backing off a little, ladies.  Be silent.  Let him go shoot skeet, play basketball, or go bowling with you or his friends.  Guys don't need the same type of emotional support females do.  'Doing' is a solace.

In times of heavy emotional crisis, laugh.  OK, maybe we are the most insensitive family in the world, but we’ve learned to laugh about constipation, morphine loopiness, and catheter bag explosions.  We are not irreverent.  We have just decided to not take this world too seriously, because our true home lies across the Jordan.

I end this by asking you, dear readers, to pray for my mentor, Mother-in-love, and friend.  She is awaiting the final moment to go on to her glory.  She has taught me how to navigate being a woman.  Soon, I will share her quirky nuggets of wisdom (in another post).  I praise God that it will only be a momentary separation.  She already promised me when she gets to heaven, she’ll tell my mom, “Hi.”  Also, please pray for Mr. Muscle.  She taught him how to be the affectionate and loving man that I would die for.

Practical Tools:

1.  PRAY

2.  Communicate openly about your husband’s sexual needs during times of crisis.

3.  Be open to fulfilling his need of sexual intimacy even if you are lagging in libido.

4.  Don't take this world too seriously, find something to laugh about daily.

For those who are also currently enduring the grit of life that produces luster, this is our prayer for us, beautiful ladyfish:

"Be merciful to me, Lord, for I am in distress;my eyes grow weak with sorrow,my soul and body with grief……But I trust in you, Lord;I say, 'You are my God,' ” Psalm 31: 9, 16.

Linking with The Alabaster Jar: Marital Oneness Monday


Linking with 'tolovehonorandvacuum' Wifey Wednesday:  Magic Mike, Marriage and Women's Libido