Let's enjoy a swim in the Tidepool and share laughs and tears about how these struggles have shaped

Thursday, July 19, 2012

Yes, Virginia, Superb Mother-In-Laws DO Exist!


I want to share that I lost someone very dear to me on July 6th.  Mr. Muscle's mama went home to the Lord that day.  I know many out there have mother-in-law issues.  And where Mr. Muscle and I have had our issues, my MIL was a 'mother-in-love.'

She was a gift from God.  And these are the things I learned from her:

1.  You are never too old to change.  This woman was using a Swiffer the week it came out in the stores.  This may seem stupid, but I'm much more cautious when it comes to the latest thing.  She was all for it and embraced it.  She embraced all new experiences.

2.  Everyone is dealing with something.  And although this isn't a new thought, it was a new thought for a 25 year old.  She helped me see that actions were sometimes the reactions of a hurt spirit.

3.  Mental Illness is a valid illness.  But, it doesn't give you an excuse.  It gives you a purpose.

4.  Honor the choice your son or daughter has made in their mate. Believe it or not, I WAS NOT the optimum choice my MIL would have made, for reasons I won't go into here.  She accepted me and loved me.  She never spoke down to me.  She went out of her way to get to know me.  

5.  Don’t stick your nose in your married children’s business.  But do make your concern and availability known.  If a difficult subject is broached or advice sought, use the most diplomatic language possible.  Think carefully how to phrase things so to not place any wedge between you and your adult children.

In looking forward to when one will be an in-law, remember respect of your child's final mate choice is paramount.  We taught our children their values.  Let's trust that their values will lead them to an honorable individual as their mate.  and PRAY!

I can only hope to honor my "Naomi" by being the loving, non-judgmental mother-in-law to the next generation that she was to me.

“But, Ruth replied to Naomi, ‘Don’t urge me to leave you or to turn back from you.  Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay.  Your people will be my people and your God my God.  Where you die, I will die, and there I will be buried.  May the Lord deal with me, be it ever so severely, if even death separates you and me,’” Ruth 1: 16,17.

2 comments:

  1. What a wonderful tribute to your mother-in-law, Pearl! May the God of all comfort be with you and your husband and your family at this difficult time as losing a loved one can be painful. Please know that your soul sister understands and is praying for ya!

    And on the subject of MIL's, I also am so blessed to have a wonderful godly one who prayed for me even before she knew me personally. I think it's so important for mothers to pray for their children's future spouses and I feel so honored that she did. We have such a great relationship and I praise God for her!

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    1. Thanks, dear SS (soul sistah!), we esp. need your prayers right now. You are truly blessed to also have a great MIL. You are right about praying for the future mates of our kiddos.

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