2 Players, No Substitutions

Pearl fits into a girl stereotype.  I’m not that into sports.  Participating in the ceremonial pursuit of a little ball through space is not appealing, even if points are earned.  Fun is more important than points. 

And since corn-hole isn’t an Olympic event, yet (to Mr. Muscle’s chagrin), I can only find Beach Volleyball or Badminton interesting.  Badminton was favorite family game played during get-togethers.  I still have to giggle when anybody asks, “Have you seen my shuttlecock?”

Another game I’ve been playing all my life is volleyball.  It was a favorite of our gym teacher in middle school.  We wore our ‘gym suits’ and formed squads.  I hated the stinging feeling of a good set, but it was satisfying emotionally. 

When Beach Volleyball was introduced as an Olympic Event in Atlanta in 1996, I found my niche.  Not only is it a game I already knew the rules to, but it’s location is my favorite setting, THE BEACH!  Plus, the atmosphere at the Beach Volleyball sandpit is like a party!  No dignified whispering is needed.  The music inspires fun.  Everyone is your friend, not much team rivalry. 

There are two facts I learned recently and find intriguing.

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1)     2 Players, No Substitutions:  The Beach Volleyball team only has 2 players.  During the course of a match, there are no substitutions.  If a team mate gets hurt and unable to continue, this is called an abnormal substitution and is allowed.  However if no substitute is available, the player is given a 5 minute injury time out.

This would inspire protection of each other from bodily harm.  This would inspire an ultimate commitment of team mates during the match.  This would inspire a mindset of working to your best and encouraging the best out of your partner.

Hmm….kind of like marriage?  Committed for life.  Knowing that as a pair our team should encourage each other’s best performance.  Our words should not critically find fault, but coax out the best.  We are each other’s advocates in this world during our life-long match.

How can this relate to Libido Monday?  Well, dear ladies and gents, when we are secure in our knowledge of who we are spending the rest of our lives with, there is more ownership of every aspect, good/bad/ugly. 

Would we rather be living with our advocates than our adversaries?  Don’t trash talk your spouse.  Always ‘have their back.’  If a deadly serve is coming straight for your mate, deflect it!  This ‘team mentality’ isn’t always intuitive.  Discuss this with your mate.  Let’s show a united front to the world and the kids.  Which leads to the next intriguing fact.

2.  the Husband and Wife:  This is the name of a tactic where the serve is sent straight down the middle of the pair, hoping to cause indecision. 

Are you and your mate always on the same page?  Not here.  I find that we are more ‘indecisive’ when we haven’t spent enough time together, talking and having fun.  Carve out 15 minutes a day to look your spouse in the eye and have a little conversation, not just about picking up Joey’s prescription.  But, ‘How are you feeling today?’  And guys, don’t just brush this off.  Pause, and phrase your words so that you are allowing her to hear your heart.

Feeling good that we spend enough time with our teammate in ‘practice’ of conversation and feeling good that we are both protected from outside forces (as advocates), will enhance the romance in the bedroom.  If low libido is an issue, having positive energy flowing will help her decide to say yes.

Practical Tools:

1.       Catch those critical words and dump them.  Coax the best out of your spouse with inspiring words, even if and especially if you aren’t thrilled with them at the moment. 

2.    Sole-Mate Time:  I’m a broken record when it comes to this.  Time alone, looking each other in the eye, having at least a 15 minute adult conversation per day is essential.

3.    Put the Party back in your marriage…inspired by the casual vibe of the beach volleyball court, put away your dignified whispers and rock out to some fun!

“But, what comes out of the mouth, proceeds from the heart….”Matthew 15:18.

A small side-note:  For the 2o12 games, the International Volleyball Federation allowed Female Beach Volleyball teams to cover more of their bodies with clothing due to the colder weather of London.

Linking with The Alabaster Jar:  Marital Oneness Monday
Linking with tolovehonorandvacuum: Wifey Wednesday