Let's enjoy a swim in the Tidepool and share laughs and tears about how these struggles have shaped

Thursday, September 20, 2012

Love at First Bite


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According to a 2010 research study conducted by Chadwick Martin Bailey on behalf of Match.com, 1 in 6 marriages  since 2007 met through an online dating service.  If you count all committed relationships, this percentage jumps to 1 in 5.  I personally know quite a few couples who have been introduced through technology.

When this phenomenon first appeared, there was a slight stigma, a blush of response.  I remember asking a friend from another town where she met her new boyfriend (now husband).  She looked down and spoke with hushed tones into a hand that covered her mouth.  

“What?”  I asked loudly to coax her into a more audible tone, “You met through an escort service?”  

“NO!” She blared and then still in a hushed tone, but directed more my way, she said a bit more boldly, “We met through an online dating service.”

As more matches are made in heaven cyberspace, there is less stigma. 

Mr. Muscle and I met the old fashioned way, sans technology, in college.   We first set eyes on each other at a retreat held off campus for the student governing boards of our respective dormitories (uni-sex dorms, not co-ed).  The focus of the retreat was to learn parliamentary procedure (*yawn*).

It was late Friday afternoon, when two girlfriends and I arrived in a lime green Ford Fairlane.  The boys were playing flag football.  I immediately took notice of a handsome guy wearing an orange Tennessee Vol’s mesh football jersey.  The Tom Selleck chest and moustache were both heart stopping.  It was a nice sight to enjoy for the moment and then I went about unpacking.

(Side note:  Girls, hairy chests used to be very appealing.  I still find them so and am mystified by the need to ‘manscape.’)

Later in the evening, after dinner, we played ice-breaker games.  One of these games included a Caller (or leader) naming two body parts, then boys and girls paired to connect the body part.  I know that sounds a little suggestive, but it was platonic.  Toe-to-knee, would involve one person placing a toe on another person’s knee.

After touching, you introduce yourself to your partner. 

When nose-to-ankle was called out, Mr. Tennessee (a.k.a future Mr. Muscle), found his way over to me.  He kneeled down and BIT my ankle.  That unexpected nibble got my attention!  When I remember it, my heart still skips a beat and goosebumps reappear.  

I never knew how sensitive the skin around my ankle was until that moment.

Although there was an immediate physical attraction, as we got to know each other better, we found we had spiritual chemistry and common life goals.  Plus, he loved to make jokes and I loved to laugh at them.

Even during the times of struggle in our marriage, remembering those sweet times of our budding romance gives me reason to persevere.

Whether you met your spouse virtually or in reality, it’s good to remember the butterflies of your new beginning.
"While he was still speaking with them, Rachel came with her father's sheep, for she was a shepherdess.  When Jacob saw Rachel, the daughter of Laban his mother's brother and the sheep of Laban his mother's brother, Jacob went up and rolled the stone away from the mouth of the well and watered the flock of Laban his mother's brother.  Then Jacob kissed Rachel and lifted his voice and wept," Genesis 19:9-11.   
Have you ever found inspiration through remembering your butterflies of new beginnings?

And will someone please explain for me the trend of grooming male chests of all their hair?

7 comments:

  1. I don't understand the craze over every guy having a smooth chest either. Some do, some don't. Let it be.

    I love to remember back to when I met my husband too. I can recall vividly the first time we kissed sitting on my couch and how nervous I was as he came toward me.

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    1. Oh yes, the nervousness! And then the sweetness of first contact... I'm so glad God gave us that kind of recall for the precious moments in life.

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  2. I don't understand all the manscaping either. I kind of like a hairy chest. Manly! But I've heard it said, "grass don't grow on the playground."

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    1. LOL! I hadn't heard that phrase before. On the flipside, I do understand back waxing! :)

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  3. And to go back to the real topic ...

    I know a number of couples who met this way, and most of them are very happy. If I had to guess, I would say they have better marriages than the average. Actually, that is what I would expect - you narrow down the choices to things that matter before you met and get carried away by chemistry.

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    1. I would agree, Paul. It would be interesting to see the questionnaire that is filled out. One of my friends told me it took her days to complete it. So, it's got to be thorough.

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  4. My husband and I met in person at a conference, but then started our relationship via email because we lived so far apart (over 600 miles). Then, soon after we started emailing I got a job (which I had applied for before we even met) much closer to him and we were able to see one another on weekends. Because we did a lot of communicating by email and by phone, and because we had to schedule times to get together, we were more intentional in our relationship than many people. I actually emailed him a long list of questions (from spiritual to his views on family and marriage) after our first date and we both answered them to get to know each other better. It worked out well and we've been happily married for almost 2-1/2 years now.

    BTW, I don't understand the idea of men removing their chest hair either. My husband has lots of chest hair and I like it that way (although he does trim it a little from time to time so it doesn't tickle my nose so much when we cuddle up with my head on his chest).

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