Intimacy after Miscarriage

~Because I wish this blog to give women HOPE through the grit of life, I welcome personal stories of faith victory.  Please welcome my soul sister, Jewelfish.  She has been refined through life experiences different than my own.  I have invited her to impart HOPE anytime she wants here on the OysterBed.  I admire her courageous optimism and tenacious beautiful faith.   We have been friends for years, starting out as fellow counselors at church camp.  I always feel uplifted in her presence.  I hope you do, too, as you read her words......

          Last year, Mr. Tiburon, my husband, and I had a moment of ultimate joy and deepest sorrow as a couple.  After a whirlwind trip to the “Big Easy” for business (and lots of romance) we found out that we were expecting our first child!  This came with more happiness than you can imagine!  Knowing that I would have fertility problems way before I even got married, we tried for over five years to get pregnant.  This included trips to a fertility endocrinologist that eventually gave up on us and having surgical procedures and lots of drugs to correct the issue to no avail.  There had been so many years of prayers, and crying out to God for us to have a baby…and here we were! I couldn’t wait to do some sweet, extravagant plan to tell my husband that we were expecting! As soon as I saw those two pink lines, I ran out of the bathroom in a frenzy of crying and laughing and nearly gave Mr. Tiburon cardiac arrest! We made sure to ask the doctors if we could tell anyone and we were given the okay, so we called the ecstatic family and friends.  Sisters at church even had a get together in thanksgiving and prayer of blessing on our baby in our honor.  It was so special and I was so excited to finally fulfill my dreams of being a mom.

          Things started to go wrong. I will never forget those days of fear and worry.  I ended up having a miscarriage.  Looking back, my husband was so full of faith and strength where I worried about every move I made.  I never knew how long of a process that a miscarriage would be!  The hours in the hospital…days of waiting on phone calls from the doctor… three weeks of tests and blood work just to tell me the inevitable that I knew in my soul was like a band aid being ripped off over and over.  The doctor said that we could start trying after one cycle, so we went back to tracking ovulation and counting days.  Since that was what worked for us before, it was natural that we would just get back into the swing of things!  I never knew that the grief process would take so long for me, though.

 

          There were times where I became so overtaken by grief that the everyday routines became painful.  It was excruciating to see people who kept announcing their own pregnancies or stories on the news of parents abusing their children.  Work had even become miserable.  I thought I had gotten much better until I had to face what would be my due date.  Mr. Tiburon was so patient and strong.  But, I became resentful of the time he spent at work, not being available for the ovulation time table.  I was angry that he didn’t understand that I couldn’t wave a magic wand, make a wish and become pregnant.  I knew that God would answer prayer, but he also put a biological plan in place for it to happen.  I knew I wasn’t Mary and conceive immaculately!

 After months of going through the motions, crying and resentment, we finally talked about how we each felt about the miscarriage and how it was affecting our relationship.  Some people are able to use loss to bring them together and for others, loss becomes a wedge.  We were determined not to let it keep us from having a fulfilling marriage.  Mr. Tiburon let me know that my “tracking” took away the romance and made our time together less intimate and more robotic.  I made a promise to not use my ovulation test for two months and he would make the necessary changes to free up more time and spend it with me.  I even left my job as a preschool teacher to work in our office so that we could build our business together.  We promised each other to be proactive in finding ways to be together and spice things up.  The biggest promise we made is to be thankful for what God has already blessed us with…a marriage that is focused on Him.  Whether we have children or not, our vows will stand strong through it all.

Buttery Love

It’s Christening Day for “Libido Monday.” 

I commit, beautiful readers, to continue posting articles each Monday regarding female libido or sexually motivating facts.   Since I have suffered from a waning libido, maybe some of you have, too.

Libido is important to me because it’s important to Mr. Muscle.  Mr. Muscle has given me permission to confide that the most satisfying experience for him is when I am full of desire and reach climax.  This may be true of most men.  Hmmm, I think I may need to take another informal survey regarding this….

Does sexual intimacy with your husband always have to include yearning and orgasm?  NO.  The spiritual union of one-flesh can include different types of encounters.

Buttery Love

Toast with Heart Butter Pat

As women age, vaginal lubrication becomes a crucial factor for pleasurable lovemaking.  A dry 'depth' can make intercourse painful.  If relief is not found, anxiety toward painful future lovemaking sessions may inhibit libido.  Around half menopausal & post-menopausal women will experience dryness, at some point.

Declining estrogen levels (peri-menopause onward) are often the culprit for dryness, but stress and diet can also be a factor.  There are other medical conditions that can contribute, in particular Sjogren’s Disease and PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome).  Certain medications may also have a drying side-effect (anti-histamines/daily allergy medicine and cancer treatments, for example).  Shifting hormones because of birth control can affect younger women.  Pregnancy can affect vaginal moisture.

However, vaginal dryness does not have to be the reason to indulge in extra lubrication.  Lubrication can make a great experience, exquisite.  Remember how fun a Slip & Slide was as a kid?  Well, take Slip & Slide to the adult (& married) level.  

"A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries the bones,"  Proverbs 17:22.

First Strike Considerations

1.  Drink more WATER.

2.  Reduce caffeine.  Caffeine is a diuretic which urges your body to purge it’s water.

3.  Choose gentle hygiene products.  Do not use douche, feminine hygiene spray, or antibacterial/harsh soaps, bubble bath or bath salts.

4.  Eat one or two soy products a day (edamame snacks or tofu on your salad).  Soy has an estrogen mimicking effect.

5.  Use it or lose it.  Have you ever had a car sit for a month or two without being driven.  Then, when you start to drive it again things fall apart?  Same theory with the lady parts, consistent use will help keep the engine oiled.

Pearl's Tip of the Day:  My sister told me about this after watching it on Dr. Oz's television show regarding vaginal dryness.  It works!  Put a dab of oil on the perineum (the stretch of skin between your anus and vagina, also known as 'taint') after each shower.  The feel is exquisite.  It reminds me through the day of sensual feelings.  It has helped libido in that aspect, in addition to making the actual sexual encounter more pleasant.  The oil is absorbed into the skin and helps lubricate the inner canal, as well.

Which oil to use?  Olive oil was suggested on the show.  I have been using olive oil with orange infusion (that way I don't smell like antipasto salad).

Coconut Oil

Chip and Cherry Pepper highly recommend coconut oil for sexual fun.  Coconut oil is touted to be a cure for every disease known to man.  Of course, this is an exaggeration.  But the coconutoil website has an impressive list.  This article link confirms that coconut oil is an anti-fungal, so there might be substance to their claims.  The silky properties are extremely long lasting.  It smells great and is not drippy.  Overall, we are very pleased with it.  I may replace the olive oil with it.  
(Disclaimer:  Oils are not highly regarded in the medical community due to their ability to promote allergy, and yeast overgrowth/bacterial infections if proper hygiene isn't followed, consistent showers to remove old oil.  I have not had any problems.  Just be aware.)

Vitamin E vaginal suppositories

These can be found in health food stores and compounding pharmacies without a prescription.  It is not recommended that the oral vitamin E capsule be used in the vagina.  The oral capsules have a far greater amount of vitamin E in them (400 i.u.’s versus 30 i.u.’s in the suppositories).  There is a chance of toxicity if more than 400 i.u.’s of Vitamin E is taken daily over long term.   There is documented research that Vitamin E is beneficial for lubrication.  

Carrageenan
Carrageenan is a relatively new additive in personal lubricants and is touted as a female sexual stimulant when directly applied to clitoris.  It is made from red seaweed.  It has been used as a food additive for it's gelling and smoothing properties since the 1950's.  In addition to silky texture, it has the ability to cause inflammation (greater blood accumulation in an area) which would make the clitoris more sensitive.  There is a just right warming effect.  It's not the scary, "Oh Man, I'm doing damage" icy/hot intense feel of some of the heat lubricants we've tried.  There is some debate as to the safety of Carrageenan.  But, it has been found to be effective as an anti-viral against HPV.

There are plenty of lubricant options that can be found near the condoms in most pharmacies.  For an explanation of the different types see the link at the bottom of the page.

And NO, butter did not make Pearl's list of lubricants.  The pharmacist I sleep with, Mr. Muscle, doesn't recommend it for sexual activity or burns*.  

But, doesn’t the words buttery love  conjure up a yummy image?  Enjoy your next Slip & Slide session, beautiful ladyfish.

Chip and Cherry Pepper on Coconut Love.

Dr. Oz's information on pharmacy lubricants

*I must give a humor nod to Julie Sibert at www.intimacyinmarriage.com.

Linked with Sheila Gregoire's Wifey Wednesday.






Bless me with your thoughts and comments.  What works,  what doesn't?

"Make Love to Your Wife, Not Your Iphone"

This is an actual quote from Mr. Muscle on a Friday night at 7:00 p.m.  He was perturbed at the constant stream of data on his phone that continued after work hours.

How profound of my very hard working man to say.

(There is a difference between hard working and work-aholism.  Hard working is doing the job to the best of one’s ability, even going the extra mile, to support the family’s lifestyle.  Work-aholism is when one can’t relax off-duty and only finds value through the job.)

Men, is your sex life as active as you would like?  If not, are you making love to your Iphone (or whatever technology keeps you plugged in)?  I mean to say, are you cradling it and caressing it and typing in little messages at all hours of day and night?

Unplug from technology and plug into your spouse.  Those little messages you are typing in?  Transfer them to a sweet enticing whisper into your lovely’s shell-shaped ear (like, “you work so hard, let’s go to dinner tonight so you don’t have to cook.”).  Take that caress and move it toward the nape of your sweetie’s nectar scented neck.  Give her a neck rub that lasts as long as three commercials.

Chances are one of your lovely’s top turn-on’s is conversation.  Connecting through words is very important, but may not be easy for men.  I used to joke that Mr. Muscle only had a maximum of 600 words per day and he used 598 of them at work.

But, practice makes perfect.  He had a job shift and became a professional in business development (sales).  Words are not a problem anymore.

"Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones,"  Proverbs 16:24.

I’m tellin’ ya, if you get it right and talk with her daily….She will open up to you in a whole new dimension.  How would you like to sexually explore variety (within godly bounds…..)?  This may come to fruition if you have good communication.  Share with her what you have been feeling throughout the day, frustrations or celebrations.  Did you have an exceptionally irritating phone call?  Who was it and why did it irritate you?  Did something funny happen on the way to the office?

And ladies, it is up to you to allow him to talk without feeling judged or criticized.  Give him space to think and do and share.  You are not his mother.  You should be his sounding board.  Listen without trying to shape his behavior.

There was a time in our marriage when I wished I had been Mr. Muscle’s client, because he spoke to them so gently and intently.  But, since we practice now we’ve learned to speak kindly and listen intently to each other and not just clients.

Guys (and girls), unplug, turn off the phone, shut the computer screen, give your mate sole attention…..and a little frisky time may ensue.  Perhaps, she’ll be the client and you’ll be the salesman (*wink*)?

Get Physical

Ever wonder, "Where did my sexy go?"  I sure did!


Mr. Muscle and I labored to restore trust and harmony in our broken marriage.  But, I was disgruntled that my libido was not resurging along with the compatibility.  How could I take charge of my sexual desire?  God faithfully carried us through the conflict and I knew he would be faithful in hearing this prayer, as well.


Even I have said, "Just choose to be sexy!"  And, to a point that works, but there are other factors within the delicate and complex female libido....


Please join me at The Alabaster Jar, to explore another factor in sex-drive resuscitation....Get Physical.


(Much thanks to Jolene Engle for graciously allowing me to guest post!)

Why NO to Sex?

Reading Julie Sibert's last two posts regarding Your Excuses for "NO Sex" and "5 Things You MUST Know If You're Denying your husband Sex" has reminded me of the awful excuses I used to make.


Aside from physical limitations or health conditions as mentioned by Julie, what are the true reasons for saying NO to sex with your husband?


Men need sex like a fish needs water to live in.  Men need sex like they need air to breathe.  There was a point in my marriage that even if I had known that, I would have cared little.  That was wrong of me.  Sex is crucial for a marriage to withstand the erosion of the world.  God created it to be so.


If you are saying NO to sex, can you determine the underlying cause?


What has changed from the early-married days when you couldn't keep your hands off each other?


Are you or your spouse acting like a parent, telling each other what should or shouldn't be thought or done?
Are there episodes of anger in the household?
Are there few uplifting encouraging words (but lots of criticism)?
When's the last time you hugged your spouse and smiled into their eyes?
Is there infidelity in the house (whether an emotional affair, true affair or pornography)?


Rediscover the two people who fell in love.  Examine what may have changed.  Having both spouses agree, open a dialogue exploring what may have changed, using tactful words, with an understanding you are going to 'hear' each other and not have a nuclear melt down of hurt feelings.


Sex is THEE prescription for a magical marriage.  You can't wait to fix everything else and THEN reconnect through sex.  I'm tellin' ya, beautiful ladyfish, marriage repair and sex go hand in hand.


AND, if the health of your marriage is good and you are still saying NO.....????  


Don't wait another minute to say YES!

The Heart of the Bikini Clad

‘Tis Summer.  Hoards of people blanket the beach, lots of them in bikinis.  My tidepool of residence is in a warm weather climate where shorts, flip flops and tank tops are worn nearly year round.  Frankly, the heat is unbearable if you wear much more.

Modesty levels can be affected by culture and still not go against the Word of God.  My northern Wisconsin relatives wear long sleeves and pants all the time.  It makes sense that elbows and knees might seem provocative to them.

Here’s a scenario:  You and Jesus have the surfboards strapped to the top of the VW, headed to the swell.  What would you be comfortable wearing in front of Jesus?

Frankly, I think Jesus would be more concerned about the condition of your heart than the size of your swim suit.

If the condition of your heart is one that has gratefully accepted the mercy and grace and love of Christ, you will probably carefully consider your swimwear purchases.  If you are exuding that love, you will not turn a scornful glance onto the unknowing bikini-clad 16 year old.  Strike up a conversation and love that bikini-wearer like Jesus!  Who knows what kind of home life she has.

Our youth are racing the opposite direction from church….not necessarily from Jesus.  They are racing from those they feel are sitting in judgement of their every action.  Dispel this feeling through loving and gentle mentoring and pack up the disapproving looks.

Tidal Wave Transformation         Let's start a revolution of change regarding our sex soaked society.  But, not through ineffective and negative motivation.  If someone had told the teenage Pearl to cover up because her female form was making men sin, lifelong body issues would have ensued.  I have body issues enough without that added burden.  What we have to implant is respect of self.  Asking, "Do you want male attention because your hiney is hanging out, or do you want attention because the young man enjoys your company?  Aren’t you, beautiful young ladyfish, WORTH the attention because of your heart and mind?"

Mentor the young ladies in your church.  Another voice besides mama’s goes a long way.  Get to know them so that you can have the discussion about the power of their bodies.  Have a discussion that empowers their respect of themselves.

Let’s counter the media’s lie that girls are only good for sex.  Young girls need convinced of their WORTH.  It starts with very simple words.  “You are kind.  You are smart.  You are important,” Aibileen Clark (The Help, by Kathryn Stockett).  AND I would add, "You are a Pearl of great price, beautiful inside and out."

The female body is not sinful.  The man who gazes and lusts is the one sinning.  Mr. Muscle and I have had conversations regarding this.  He fully believes it is not my duty to keep another from temptation.  It is the man’s duty to squelch lust.   Am I concerned for my brother and his sin?  Of course I am, but I am not going to ‘own’ his sin.  I am not going to dress scantily.  Neither am I going to worry about an inch here or there.


"Pearl, what does this have to do with marriage?" you ask.  Through empowering self worth, we can help our next generation realize purity and the potential of a godly marriage.  Empowering our young women (and young men) to realize their worth helps them to look to you for further counsel.  Don't we like to hear words from those who build us up and help us realize our potential?  The more godly thoughts they glean from you, the more influence Christ will have.


Practical Tools:

Female Readers:  Mentor the young ladies (11-20 years) in your church.  Empower a future generation of young women to respect themselves and know their WORTH.
~Find her strengths
~Explore her successes 
~Explore her interests
~Help her fully grasp that Jesus loves her unconditionally (knowing that as she matures, she will come to understand that boundaries are God's provision and protection for us.)


Male Readers:  Mentor young men to have the heart and self-control of Jesus, helping them to look upon young women as precious counterparts, with strength and beauty bestowed upon them from God.


PRAY:  Not comfortable about reaching out to the youth?  PRAY ABOUT IT!  God will lead you into the exact right circumstance and give you the words, just ask.

"For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance of the Jews will come from another place, but you and your father's family will perish.  And who knows but that you have come to royal position for such a time as this?"  Esther 4:14.

SEX and the BEACH

Sunrise over the Mayan Riviera

A very very informal survey was taken on my facebook pages, asking:

“If money were no object, where would you spend your second honeymoon?”  Some responders mentioned Germany and Italy, even one outer space.  But, 70% (16 out of 23) mentioned a tropical location.  (Be a part of the next informal survey, see the sidebar and ‘like’ Pearl’s facebook page).

WHY does the majority conjure up locations of warmth and sunshine for couple time?  Why not go to Juneau, Alaska (no one mentioned Alaska)?  Wouldn't it be fun to snuggle away the cold, naked under a bearskin and be ripe for some sexual relations?

Snow just doesn’t inspire delicious sensual feelings, at least in my opinion.   I CRAVE going to the beach and sunning year round.  After a beach day, my husband is particularly pleased, because sometimes I come home feelin' randy.

And so, I ask my favorite question, “WHY?”  WHY do tropical locations seem to be favorite couple destinations? 

Is there a correlation between SEX and the BEACH? 

What I found was yet another libido enhancer:

THE SUN HAS AN SPF (Sexual Promotion Factor) of 3

Cancun can!

SPF#1:  MELANIN (better known as a ‘suntan’ in caucasions)

When UVB radiation from sunlight hits the skin, there is DNA damage within the skin’s cells.  A protein known as p53, runs to the brain’s pituitary gland to sound the alarm.  Melanocyte stimulating hormone (MSH) is triggered in the anterior pituitary gland.  This stimulating hormone signals melanin to be created in certain skin cells.  Melanin is the pigmentation that we call a ‘suntan.’  Melanin is a photoprotectant and defends the skin against further damage.

A study at the University of Arizona  has found that MSH is a factor in male (erectile activity) and female (increased sexual desire and genital arousal) sexual function.  A high amount of MSH being produced (as you are tanning), may indicate a higher sexual desire.

Suntans make you sexier in more ways than looks!

People of African American descent constantly produce melanin, lucky!

SPF#2:  TYROSINE (a foundational amino acid) 

One of the building blocks of melanin is tyrosine.  Tyrosine also has a tie with increased libido, because tyrosine is a building block of L-dopamine.  L-dopamine promotes sexual motivation and genital reflexes.  Although, I have not found direct correlation, it would make sense to me that if there is a fair amount of tyrosine laying around making melanin, it may be making L-dopamine, too.  Therefore, could this be a second reason why sexual interest seems to increase with the beach?

SPF#3:  VITAMIN D

Vitamin D3 is formed when a type of cholesterol in the skin reacts with UVB sunlight.  The UVB index must be greater than 3 for this to occur.  (Coincidentally, the UVB index is always greater than 3 in the tropics.)

Vitamin D consists of 5 related molecules (D1-D5).  Vitamin D is a hormone precursor.  Most notably, for our purposes, it is a pre-cursor for the hormone, testosterone.  Testosterone for males is a libido key.  Female libido is also greatly affected by testosterone, although female libido is more multi-faceted than male. 

In a study conducted of 2299 males at the Medical University of Graz, Austria,  a correlation was found between the level of vitamin D and the levels of androgens (testosterone, among other steroid hormones).  The highest levels of vitamin D and testosterone were found at the end of summer (August) and lowest at the end of winter (March).  Hence, there is a correlation between the amount of sunlight and the level of testosterone.  Lots of sun = Lots of testosterone.

I’m going to make a leap here not found in any scientific journal.  In Pearl’s Opinion, the sun can positively affect female testosterone production, as well.

Conclusion:

ONCE AGAIN, God has done it!  We are brilliantly biochemically connected to our environment.  What a fabulous cycle…fun in the sun creates health promoting molecules AND possibly a libido lift to keep you marriage oiled and running smoothly.

“A little knowledge of science makes a man an atheist, but an in-depth study of science makes him a believer of God,” Francis Bacon.

Practical Tools:

GET OUTSIDE!  (“Get the stink blown off,” as my mom used to say.)  Take a walk, go to the beach/lake/pool with the entire family or just the two of you, weed your garden, mow your grass, play cornhole.  Just GET OUTSIDE.    Then, may I suggest a Mr./Mrs. shower together afterwards?

Bike Riding works!

If you live north of Atlanta (longitude of 84.23 W), take advantage of the summertime sun as much as possible.  Because, in the winter, the sun rarely gets high enough in the sky for the UVB rays to penetrate the atmosphere to trigger your skin cells to produce Vitamin D.  10 minutes in the summertime sun in shorts and sleeveless shirt is adequate to make 10,000 international units of Vitamin D.

(Disclaimer:  Wear adequate sunscreen when sunbathing for longer than 10 minutes.

AND LEST WE FORGET where the true light of our world should come:

"I'll give you only the best - no more hand-me-downs!

Gold instead of bronze, silver instead of iron,

bronze instead of wood, iron instead of stones.

I'll install Peace to run your country,

make Righteousness your boss.

There'll be no more stories of crime in your land,

no more robberies, no more vandalism.

You'll name your main street Salvation Way,

and install Praise Park at the center of town.

You'll have no more need of the sun by day

nor the brightness of the moon at night.

God will be your eternal light,

your God will bathe you in splendor.

Your sun will never go down,

your moon will never fade.

I will be your eternal light.

Your days of grieving are over,"

  ~Isaiah 60:17-20 The Message.

Have a SONNY day, beautiful readers! 

Check out the Alabaster Jar and all the great link-ups for Marital Oneness Monday!


Check out Sheila Gregoire at tolovehonorandvacuum's Wifey Wednesday, 50 Shades of Grey is Bad for your Marriage.

Backstreet Boys and Business Dinners

(Pearl welcomes Mystery32 to the Tidepool!  Erin from Mystery32 has graciously composed a guest post for you, beautiful readers.  You'll love her sweet voice regarding reconnecting with those first feelings......)

Tonight I went to a professional client dinner with my husband. Then I listened to the Backstreet Boys on the way home.

I wish I could stop there and leave you asking… huh? But that’s not nice, so I’ll continue and try to make some point out of that random statement.

I met my husband, Matt when we were just 14 years old. We really are the epitome of high school sweethearts. Dated for six years, never breaking up, never dating anyone else, were engaged at 19 and married a few months shy of our 21^st birthdays. 

During that time of dating, we went to 13 different dances between our two “schools” (Matt was homeschooled, but that is a totally different story). We graduated in 2005 (I know, I know… we are young) so our high school dances consisted of a whole lot of boy bands and girl pop stars singing about break ups and what “true love” was. I won’t lie; I ate those songs up. Anything considered “pop” was probably on loop in my bedroom. Before the glorious day of my iPod, I would sprint to my stereo to hit the “record” button for my anxiously waiting cassette player if one of my favorite songs came on. Yes, cassette.   

Fast forward to nearly a decade later (AKA tonight, as I write this post). I’m going to a business dinner with Matt, something I’ve never done before, and wondering what in the world “little ol’ us” are doing there. I mean, we’re still 14, right? How are we married and going to business dinners? The dinner went great and we drove back separately as we had to meet at the restaurant. The only good part of driving separately is that I have total control over the music I want to listen to. So here I am flipping through the channels when I hear it… the great Backstreet Boys are back on the radio waves just as they were 10 years ago! Without thinking I easily sang along to every line to “As Long as You Love Me”. It brought me back to my bedroom in my parents house, back to daydreaming of my new boyfriend and scribbling his last name with my first (man, did all that practice come in handy!) and hoping that one day we could have that kind of love.

Are you barfing yet?

The funny thing is, I hadn’t thought about that song once in quite some time. I also hadn’t remembered those feelings and the excitement I had towards my now husband either. It’s easy to get caught up in the day to day, the stresses of life, and the list of to-do’s without thinking back to what it was like when the relationship with your husband or your wife was just starting out.

The truth is, that man that I sat next to at dinner, all dressed up in business clothes and chatting it up with co-workers, is the same boy that I began to fall in love with 11 years ago.  He’s the same boy that would leave sweet notes on my car in the morning before I would leave for school, and the same boy that would stand on my parent’s porch for hours because he didn’t want to say goodbye.

Are we still lovey dovey? Absolutely! Just in different ways. Going through life and maturing in your relationship will do that. We’ve had a very blessed marriage but have gone through everything from the betrayal of good friends to the miscarriage of our first child.  And while we are still lovey dovey, it’s more of a mature expression out of love and respect. We still flirt, have fun, and giggle but have grown in that flirtatious fun. But it’s still fun to think back to how it used to be.

How about you? Have you taken the time to think back to the “good ol’ days”? Maybe it doesn’t look the same as me belting out the Backstreet Boys while driving home from a business dinner (at least, I hope not… it wasn’t pretty), but what things bring back memories of you and your spouse when it was all just beginning? And do you still flirt? It may be not be doodling your name with his (cause that’s probably not necessary anymore… besides when signing receipts) but I hope flirting is something you are still keeping up. It just makes life more fun. J

As for me? It’s time to take a break from the BSB. Instead I’m going to turn on the *NSYNC Pandora station. My husband will be thrilled…

Bio:

Erin blogs over at Mystery32.com and has a passion for helping marriages be all that God intended them to be. She has been married to her husband Matt for 5 years and has two “fur-babies”: Ella the cat and Kevin the dog. When not blogging, Erin loves shopping, reading, and yes, listening to 90’s pop music. Come give her a holler anytime!



Also see:  Sheila Gregoire's Wifey Wednesday:  The 21 Day Marriage Challenge