In just one small moment, a long season of contentment can be derailed. I derailed our season this weekend.
It was an inadvertent slip. I do nothing on purpose to hurt my husband. As I know he does nothing on purpose to hurt me.
I acted negatively to a sexual advance. Instead of calmly discussing what he had in mind and asking if immediate action was desired or if we could wait a few hours for some ibuprofen to kick in, I grimaced.
In that very second, I knew the damage was done. I crushed his spirit. I immediately apologized. I was very angry at myself. This is what we have worked so hard to remedy and have made great strides. I had become so at peace and content.
The complacency of contentment is probably where I lost my diligence in how I behave toward Mr. Muscle.
Yesterday, this verse popped up in more than one scripture-of-the-day app: “Do Nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves,” Philippians 2:3.
God was telling me in my complacency, I lost humility.
Yes, in marriage we want to be relaxed and not constantly police our actions. I want my actions to be so ingrained with humility, love and respect that I don’t have to continually be on guard. However, human flesh and human selfishness can’t be totally overcome.
I need to always cradle Mr. Muscle’s heart. He’s my cowboy. Strong Cowboys still have tender underbellies. Maybe your husband is like this, too. Sexual intimacy is where he is most vulnerable.
Even though Mr. Muscle accepted my apology and forgave me, words and actions can’t be completely erased from memory. I just pray that God can allow him some amnesia regarding that moment.
Thankfully, we can extend the grace and mercy of Christ to each other. “Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you,” Colossians 3:13.
Tomorrow is a new day and we will begin again.