Your sex drive has more to do with your heart than your hormones? That’s what this study says published, November, 2014 in the Journal of Endocrinology and Metabolism.
3300 racially diverse women were tracked over a 10 year period. They ranged in age from 42-52. Blood was drawn and questionnaires were answered, yearly. Their objective was, ‘To determine whether reproductive hormones are related to sexual function during the menopausal transition.’
This study ‘decomposed’ female sexual function into four domains; desire, arousal, orgasm and pain.
Dr. Captain Obvious states in the discussion section that female sexual desire is a, ‘complex functional domain.’ Sarcasm aside, I am pleased to see female sexual function being seriously explored.
The outcome of this study? Testosterone was shown to slightly influence sex drive. However, an emotionally satisfying relationship more positively affected sexual function than the hormone fluctuation of menopause.
This confirms what I discussed about Flibanserin (an arousal drug that is awaiting approval by the FDA). Relationship education should be one of the first steps for ladies who are struggling with libido issues.
This also confirms that testosterone can positively impact sexual desire slightly. Testosterone is a hormone your body naturally produces. I think it is much less harmful to introduce a bio-identical hormone into your body than a bio-engineered molecule (see menopausal snake oil?).
I do think that Flibanserin will have merit and benefit. It’s just not going to be a cure-all that all low libido wives should reach for. Proceed with caution with Flibanserin.
Although this study focused on menopausal women, the resulting information can be important to low libido wives of all ages. All low libido wives and their husbands, can benefit from relationship education. All low libido wives should have their testosterone levels checked.
To be honest, this is hard news. Adding testosterone to your blood level isn’t going to be the 100% cure to restoring the ‘gotta-have-you-now’ feeling. It only slightly tilts your desire in the right direction. If only a dysfunctional sex drive was as easy to correct as bad eyesight. Pop on a pair of glasses and voila.
And, should I even call it a ‘dysfunctional’ sex drive?? There are so many factors that are unique to your situation. Just because you are the lower drive spouse of your marriage, doesn’t necessarily make you ‘dysfunctional.’
God’s design of marital sexual intimacy wasn’t meant to only be driven by physical urges. Testosterone may seem the easiest route to finding an increase in sexual desire. However, it’s not the most fulfilling method of finding sexual desire. Remember, easy does not always equal fulfilling.
Connecting with your sweetie is going to have the most influence. It’s the same philosophy as my post How a Husband Can Help (her reach orgasm). Sexual arousal and the best sexual experience will naturally evolve from a bond that is kind and generous (as seen in the article I referenced in this post).
I’m here to testify that a woman can trump her own lack of sexual desire. I am a high drive wife when it comes to desiring emotional and spiritual connection with my husband on a sexual level. And you can be, too!!!
The hope is knowing you can create sexuality for yourself and your marriage, in spite of low physical drive. The ‘gotta-have-you-now’ physical feeling isn’t necessary. The better your relationship becomes with your spouse, the easier it is to have playful, fun, willingness to engage in love making.
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