Today is sweet Hannah’s final installment of her series, Awaken the Super in Your Man. This makes me a little sad. She’s been a joy to work with. Please follow this positive gal at her home blog, Becoming His Eve! I hope that you have blessed through Hannah’s words as I have been! Her gentle and positive encouragement radiates warmth and light. For me personally, an added blessing has been to get to know Hannah better. She is a sweet and beautiful young wife who wants to the Lord’s best for all she touches. I count her as a blogging sister.
Awakening the Super in Your Man: Unveiled
Lois Lane: Us (together)? That’s like hot fudge and halibut.
Clark Kent: I take it I’m the halibut.
~Smallville, S.6, Ep.13
Sometimes, this is how I feel my sex life is like. Sometimes I’m the halibut. Sometimes I’m hot fudge. Sometimes we’re in sync, and sometimes we’re off kilter. Sometimes I feel sizzling, sometimes I feel boring and flat, and sometimes I start out strong, but the sizzle fizzles.
I think we all would like to be the hot fudge. Last week I talked about how a confident wife is a sexy wife. We talked about being confident in what you do, in your body, and in who you are.
We’ve been focusing on what you can do for your man in meeting his 5 needs:
This week we’ll talk about what to do with that confidence… and how to become the hot fudge… er… hot woman. When you are confident in yourself, you set the groundwork for unveiling your beauty by allowing him access to your body and making sex a priority.
Unveiling Your Beauty – Allow Him Access
Wait a second! Can I be godly and sexy? You may be asking. In marriage… absolutely! We often hear in the Church “don’t have sex until marriage.” We tend to focus on the “don’t.” So when we actually do get married, we’re not sure how to ease off the brakes and press the accelerator. We’re not even sure we’re supposed to.
God created sex for pleasure and passion, not just procreation or a responsibility. King Solomon, thought to have been the wisest man who has lived, advised his son in Proverbs 5:18-19 to “delight in the wife of your youth… may her breasts satisfy you always. May you ever be intoxicated with her love.” Pay attention to these words: delight, satisfy, beintoxicated.
These aren’t words about duty or children. In Song of Songs 5:1, God speaks to the husband and wife and tells them to “Eat, friends; drink and imbibe deeply, O lovers.” Yes, God is encouraging husbands and wives to enjoy sex with one another, to drink deeply of one another’s love, and that He is pleased with their intimacy.
God gave you permission to let loose and delight in lovemaking. What does it mean to allow your husband access to your body?
Throw off the veil.
You don’t have to be shy. You don’t have to cover up. Be confident in your beauty and your body. Don’t hold back. Be naked with your husband frequently. Get comfortable in your skin. Make it clear in advance. No pressure for more. No touching. Just enjoy gazing on each other’s naked bodies. Look at what the husband says in Song of Solomon 4:1-15 and 7:1-9 and what the wife says in Song of Solomon 5:10-16 for inspiration.
Eat a meal together in the nude (if you can).
Dance for your husband without clothes.
Lie naked on your bed and just have a conversation.
Tell each other what you love about each other’s bodies.
Focus on the positive.
Maybe you’re worried about how you look. We all have things we don’t like about ourselves. Don’t focus on what you don’t have and you don’t like. Focus on what you do have. Use your assets and make it work for you.
Does he like your blossoming bosom? Sit topless.
Do you slender legs turn him on? Walk around in nothing but those high heels that accentuate their length. Is he thrilled by your booty? Shake that booty for him.
Let him touch you.
Invite him to be hands on. Pull him toward you and plant kisses on him. In Song of Solomon 1:2, the wife says, “Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth for your love is more delightful than wine.”
Let him caress your face and neck.
Allow him to fondle your breasts.
In the Message version of Song of Solomon 6:3, the wife says, “I am my lover’s and he is mine. He caresses the sweet-smelling flowers” (a euphemism for breasts).
Let him pull your back and hips toward him.
If you’re not fully comfortable, try taking a shower together. Let the steamy water slither down your bodies and relax you. Place his hands where you’d like them. The wife of the king does this too in Song of Solomon 2:6 (NLV) “Let his left hand be under my head and his right hand hold me close.”
Unveiling Your Beauty – Make Sex a Priority
Invite him to enjoy sex with you. Put time and effort into sex. While there’s nothing wrong with being spontaneous, and planning things ahead of time may seem strange, he is sure to enjoy the surprise of the “set stage.”
In Song of Solomon7:11-13, the king’s wife invites him willingly and eagerly to enjoy sex with her. She says, “Come, my beloved, let us go to the countryside, let us spend the night in the villages. Let us go early to the vineyards to see if the vines have budded, if their blossoms have opened, and if the pomegranates are in bloom—there I will give you my love. The mandrakes send out their fragrance, and at our door is every delicacy, both new and old, that I have stored up for you, my beloved.”
Prep yourself mentally.
Meditate on your husband throughout the day.
Linda Dillow and Lorraine Pintus, authors of Intimate Issues write: “Solomon is not present and [the] Shulamith [woman] meditates on her husband’s body with erotic imagery. In her mind she undresses her husband, beginning at the top of his head and working her downward. She dwells on his sensuous lips, his muscular shoulders, and strong legs and ends her daydreaming by saying: ‘His mouth is full of sweetness. And he is wholly desirable.’ (5:16)… [her] thoughts prepare her to act out her sensuousness with her husband.”
Think about aspects of his body that you love.
Think about what turns you on.
Fantasize about your husband.
Send him flirt text messages or emails throughout the day hinting at your lovemaking plans for the evening.
Prep yourself physically. What makes you feel sexy?
Take a shower or a bubble bath to get clean.
Shave your legs.
Wear lingerie and an outfit that is pretty and feminine.
Do whatever you need to feel confident, sexy, and feminine. Put on your best.
Psalm 45:11&13 says, “Let the king be enthralled by your beauty; honor him…all glorious is the princess within her chamber; her gown is interwoven with gold.”
Prep your room.
Replace your normal, everyday sheets with your best sheets.
Spread a comfortable blanket on top of your bed or on your floor.
Include plenty of pillows.
Straighten the room.
Light sweet-smelling candles or lower the lighting.
Create a romance playlist for mood music.
Pour glasses of chilled wine, champagne, or sparkling cider and set out your favorite snacks, in case you get hungry.
Put out any props you might want to use – a long strand of pearls, a feather boa, a feminine scarf, etc.
Use your imaginations.
Make plans for around sex.
Plan to go for a walk and hold hands.
Connect intimately emotionally through conversation.
Arrange for a babysitter and make reservations at your favorite restaurant. Lean over during dinner and whisper something like “I’m looking forward to our rendezvous in the bedroom later,” or “I’m wearing lacy underthings” in your husband’s ear, or try “I’m not wearing any underwear at all.” That should get him eager and ready!
Plan to snuggle when you’re done making love.
Feed each fruit or crackers or whatever snack you set out (as sex can work up an appetite). Lie on the bed and lovingly gaze on one another.
Celebrate your sexual intimacy with your husband by showing him that sex is important to you too by making plans ahead of time – everything you need to make the moment special.
You Can Empower Him
You and your husband don’t have to be on different pages. You don’t have to be halibut and hot fudge. You can be a “hot fudge” woman! Allow your husband access to your sexy, sensuous body by throwing off the veil and being naked together frequently and letting him touch you. Show your husband sex is a priority by making plans in advance for a celebration of your sexual intimacy. You are a hot woman! Believe it! Act on it! You can awaken the ‘super’ in your man when you fulfill your husband’s yearning for beauty by making yourself available to him and showing him that lovemaking is a priority.
*****
Please jump over to Becoming His Eve and check out more ideas from Hannah.
About Hannah….
My name is Hannah Williams (a.k.a. Adam’s Eve) and I write a blog called Becoming His Eve. I am a spunky housewife married to a wonderful man of God and an amazing, loving sexy husband who gives big bear hugs and wonderful words of encouragement. And in case you’re wondering, my husband’s name really is Adam. ;o) I have a passion for young women, writing, books, baking, nature, and music! I want to use my gifts, talents, and abilities to help transform relationships and communities for the Kingdom of Christ.
Another great post! I think that any husband would feel honored, empowered, and super if his wife were to treat him that way!! Thank you Hannah & Bonnie
userdand
on November 29, 2013 at 8:32 am
I suspect for a lot of women, sitting around topless or strutting their stuff in only high heels would be quite the challenge. It would be quite the challenge for the husband to eat a meal in the nude with his wife and not find his eyes wandering from the plate and his wife feeling on display. But isn’t that the point? Why is it considered a negative thing to display the objects of your husbands desires before him. Being an object of his desire is not being sexually objectified or being considered a sex object by your husband. Clothed or nude, he will entertain sexual thoughts about you. This is as it should be. You are meant to be desired by him and you are meant to be his only object of desire and his only means of the one-flesh connection. Why would it be considered displeasing that he desire to look upon your body. It is how God intended the marriage relationship to be. Why are we judged so harshly for doing what is in our nature? “My husband would have me run around naked all day if he thought I would.” Well, yes and no. You can only eat in a candy store for so long and then your appetite moderates and moves toward other things. Nudity is nice, but enticing clothing is nice too, as are really glamorous dresses. Clothing that enhances your attributes stimulates desire also and can satisfy out need for visual satiation. You knew how to entice us before the marriage. What worked then will work now. The curves may be a little curvyer, the soft spots a little softer, the round spots a little rounder and the out and up spots a little less out and not quite as up, but we’re right there with you. As long as were in together, we may as well be naked in it together. We promise not to look. *crossing fingers*
I think the point is to be comfortable in your own skin and to recognize that your husband wants to see you and finds you attractive, even if you’re not the same as your wedding night. I like what you said about enticing clothing and glamorous dresses. My husband loves it when I dress up for him, and when I wear something that shows a little skin. I want to be careful in public not to draw unwanted attention to myself and to be modest, but I do try to dress attractively and pleasing to him. You’re absolutely right about the one-flesh connection – wives need to remember they are their husbands only beauty and desire outlets. It shouldn’t be a negative thing for the husband to desire his wife ever! i think some of the problem too, especially for Christian wives, is we’re taught not to let it out, to cover up, to be modest, and to save ourselves for marriage before being married so when we do get married all those years of covering up and holding in makes it difficult to be passionate and free. That’s why I try really hard to encourage and teach other women how to do this. Let your beauty shine, ladies. Work to please your husbands. I also say to the husbands be patient with your wives. When my husband is gentle and kind in his words, actions, and touches with me all evening it definitely makes me desire and want him more. Encourage her and make her feel comfortable with you. When my husband isn’t pressuring me for sex, but he’s just content to hold me or spend time with me, I find again that I want him all the more. If I’m not ready to go to a certain place on my body during foreplay, he waits and works on other areas that I tell him I need. This turns me on all the more, and I suspect more wives, like me, need their husbands to be patient, gentle, and respectful on and off the marriage bed to increase pleasure, passion, and desire in the marriage bed.
Bonny Logsdon Burns
Hi, I’m Bonny. You’ll find understanding here for your struggle with sexual intimacy in marriage because I struggle, too. Whether your low sex drive is from a physical or emotional place, you’lI find gentle encouragment to consider the many dimensions of desire. Contact me at pearlmail3 @ gmail.com. Read more about me here, Blog Policies here.
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Another great post! I think that any husband would feel honored, empowered, and super if his wife were to treat him that way!! Thank you Hannah & Bonnie
I suspect for a lot of women, sitting around topless or strutting their stuff in only high heels would be quite the challenge. It would be quite the challenge for the husband to eat a meal in the nude with his wife and not find his eyes wandering from the plate and his wife feeling on display. But isn’t that the point? Why is it considered a negative thing to display the objects of your husbands desires before him. Being an object of his desire is not being sexually objectified or being considered a sex object by your husband. Clothed or nude, he will entertain sexual thoughts about you. This is as it should be. You are meant to be desired by him and you are meant to be his only object of desire and his only means of the one-flesh connection. Why would it be considered displeasing that he desire to look upon your body. It is how God intended the marriage relationship to be. Why are we judged so harshly for doing what is in our nature? “My husband would have me run around naked all day if he thought I would.” Well, yes and no. You can only eat in a candy store for so long and then your appetite moderates and moves toward other things. Nudity is nice, but enticing clothing is nice too, as are really glamorous dresses. Clothing that enhances your attributes stimulates desire also and can satisfy out need for visual satiation. You knew how to entice us before the marriage. What worked then will work now. The curves may be a little curvyer, the soft spots a little softer, the round spots a little rounder and the out and up spots a little less out and not quite as up, but we’re right there with you. As long as were in together, we may as well be naked in it together. We promise not to look. *crossing fingers*
I think the point is to be comfortable in your own skin and to recognize that your husband wants to see you and finds you attractive, even if you’re not the same as your wedding night. I like what you said about enticing clothing and glamorous dresses. My husband loves it when I dress up for him, and when I wear something that shows a little skin. I want to be careful in public not to draw unwanted attention to myself and to be modest, but I do try to dress attractively and pleasing to him. You’re absolutely right about the one-flesh connection – wives need to remember they are their husbands only beauty and desire outlets. It shouldn’t be a negative thing for the husband to desire his wife ever! i think some of the problem too, especially for Christian wives, is we’re taught not to let it out, to cover up, to be modest, and to save ourselves for marriage before being married so when we do get married all those years of covering up and holding in makes it difficult to be passionate and free. That’s why I try really hard to encourage and teach other women how to do this. Let your beauty shine, ladies. Work to please your husbands. I also say to the husbands be patient with your wives. When my husband is gentle and kind in his words, actions, and touches with me all evening it definitely makes me desire and want him more. Encourage her and make her feel comfortable with you. When my husband isn’t pressuring me for sex, but he’s just content to hold me or spend time with me, I find again that I want him all the more. If I’m not ready to go to a certain place on my body during foreplay, he waits and works on other areas that I tell him I need. This turns me on all the more, and I suspect more wives, like me, need their husbands to be patient, gentle, and respectful on and off the marriage bed to increase pleasure, passion, and desire in the marriage bed.