After six months of leisurely redesigning OysterBed7 with Ginny of Design Consortium, we migrated from blogger to self-hosted WordPress.org the week of January 19. The week before this my dad took a slight downturn. So, we scooted to Tennesse because I needed to hug his neck.
There I was on a beautiful Tennessee lake with ugly cell phone reception, trying to get google and godaddy to let go of my domain. I spent hours that Saturday speaking to men with varying accents. To their credit, they were patient and gentle with this panicked woman. I was frustrated, irritated and anxious because I felt completely helpless, not really knowing what I was talking about. I had no choice but hand it to God.
God was completely in control. Each customer service conversation moved me one step closer to the goal, in spite of my not knowing what the heck I was doing. I celebrated as each step was completed. Was God leading me through this process delighting at my celebration?
Finally, after too many lost connections and conversations where I had to re-count everything I had just accomplished with the other 10 agents, it all fell into place. Ginny sent me an email, because my cell phone refused to connect with hers, that said, “It’s working!!” I told the guy on the phone (and Dave is completely aware of this), “Dude, don’t take this personally, but, I. love. you.” Dude laughed.
Then, I wondered if any of the techies went back to OysterBed7 and poked around out of sex-blog curiosity?
I struggled with patience. It took 5 days for google to actually flip the switch and place Oysterbed7 in Bluehost’s hands. Keeping perspective, I heard this Jeff Foxworthy voice in my head,“If you’re at a season in life where a blog migration is your biggest headache, you might be radically blessed.”
That I am, no question.
My blog had been parked on the web in a place I didn’t particularly like, but it was comfortable. Expert after expert wrote about the benefits of where I wanted to move. Moving was scary. I was clueless of how to get there, but God cleared a path. All I had to do was keep taking babysteps forward.
Huh. That kind of sounds like another time in my life. I was in emotional pain to the point of shutting down. All my attempts at improving our marriage relationship met a brick wall.
I wanted to understand my husband and I wanted him to want to understand me. But, I didn’t have a clue how to make that happen.
I finally had to stop all effort, park my heart in neutral and ask God, “Please, show me how to make it safe for my husband to lay down his weapons.” I had reached a point where
the pain was so great that moving looked less scary.
God showed that my part of our becoming fully connected was through sexual intimacy. I was willing, but sex seemed like a tired topic. I was an old pro (not like that). I knew all about the many ways to perform. But, God wasn’t done revealing secrets.
God kept adding layers of understanding to this journey. He nudged me to contemplate being not doing.
Each step I took with cluelessness. I had no idea where God was leading me, but lead he did. Each little step has brought me closer and closer to the mystery of spiritual union with my husband and how this mirrors Christ and the church. Each step brought my husband and I closer, we liked being with each other (inside and outside of the bedroom) and even started delighting in each other. I think God was delighting in our progress, too.
Sex is different from sexual intimacy. Sex is a contest of bases and scoring. Sexual intimacy is a shared meal. It was no longer his team versus my team. We each bring delights to the meal and savor the many flavors of love. We grew to become fully involved emotionally and spiritually.
OysterBed7 was born because I wanted to help others in this journey.
I hope to continue to show the 5 ways to Build Sexual Desire and Intimacy.
1. Sexual intimacy is an important part of God’s plan for marriage. (I did not understand that.)
2. Although not necessary to engage, sexual intimacy is more fun when you have physical desire and arousal. I like to explore how we can help our bodies with arousal and desire.
3. Sexual desire is closely tied with how you view yourself inside and outside. As well as, how you view your husband.
4. Sexual intimacy should be a reflection of your emotional intimacy and spiritual intimacy with your spouse.
5. Sexual intimacy includes tender realization that your spouse has vulnerabilities and insecurities in spite of bravado.
6. This year, I will be adding more on how a marriage can heal from pornography addiction.
Please, pray over OysterBed7. I always want to honor God as I blend scripture and science. There is no limit to what God can do through you or me, provided we give him all the glory and don’t seek our own.
If this is your first time visiting OysterBed7, Welcome! Please see why sex is my focus. And peruse the archives.