2013 Sex Drive Transformation

INTRODUCTION 
(In chronological order)

Our hearts play a huge roll in our libido.  Our minds play a huge roll.  Put our hearts and minds together and you get an overall attitude.

In 1985, Michael Scheier of Carnegie-Mellon University and Charles Carver, University of Miami, conducted a study that proved optimism could affect health.  This was ground breaking for the positive psychology movement.  (See the study here.) 

Dec. 2012, a study conducted by Pia Aravena and associates in France shows that positive sentence structure can literally enhance physical performance.  More specifically, it was action words in affirming sentences.  Volunteers, while gripping a sensor, heard a variety of verbs (i.e. throw or scratch) in different sentence structures.  The researchers observed increased strength on the grip sensor when words were presented in affirmative sentences.  No change in strength was observed when the word was used in a negative context (i.e. don’t throw) 

The theory behind positive affirmations is that through repeating and thinking positive phrases a manifest change in your physical life will happen.  Does the phrase positive affirmation conjure the Saturday Night Live Skit, ‘Daily Affirmations with Stuart Smalley?’  Well, this study says, “Ridicule positive affirmations no more!” 

Although Aravena’s French study did not specifically use positive affirmations, but only verbs in a positive context, couldn’t there be a correlation?

As the sports world grabs this tidbit to enhance their multi-million dollar teams, why can’t we low-libido ladies grab a hold of it to increase our performance?

Let’s envelope this science with scripture and see what happens!

Would you be willing to try an experiment with me?  Truly, I'll be doing this right along with you.

52 Weeks of Libido Transformation

Until the end of 2013, on Thursday, I will post a scripture with an accompanying positive thought regarding libido.  It will be something that you could print out (copy and paste, for now) using a half sheet of paper or less.  Post it where you will see it all week but is still discreet; your car’s visor, inside your makeup bag, use it as your bookmark for the week or make it pop up in your iphone’s reminders.

This challenge is about follow-through.  If you read my post of New Year’s week (see it here) I believe creating a positive libido is a function of much ACTION on your part, not just wishful thinking.

I realize that all marriages are at different places.  All relationships between husband and wife have different dynamics.  If you have concerns about certain aspects of your marriage, pray about them along with increasing your libido.  You really can work on both issues at the same time.  Don’t wait to improve your marital sexual intimacy.

Most importantly, pray over yourself DAILY incorporating the specific thoughts from our challenge.  These are the keys to unlock your libido.

Husbands are invited to pray over their wives and marriages with these scriptures and thoughts, as well.

Key 1

“Be very careful about what you think.  Your thoughts run your life,”

Proverbs 4:23, (International Children’s Bible).

“Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life,”

Proverbs 4:23 (King James Version).

“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it,”

Proverbs 4:23 (New International Verson).

POSITIVE THOUGHT (positive verb: hold)

I will hold thoughts about sexual intimacy with my husband as good, pleasurable, sweet and something I want to participate in.  I will hold thoughts about sexual intimacy with my husband as God-ordained and fully cementing our bond as husband and wife.

As low-libido wives, if we continue to use our own judgment (based on our physical nature) for what makes a strong marriage, we will end up unfulfilled and living without the complete cemented bond of marriage.

Let’s release OUR ideas and embrace God’s.  Let’s release our old notion of libido.  Let’s follow Christ’s words that in losing our life to serve Him, we will gain far more than our OWN judgment would ever bring us.  Serving Christ includes doing everything in our power to enhance our marriage and allowing God to bring it into alignment with his view.

For additional thoughts on Biblical marriage see themarriagebed.com’s, “What The Bible Says.”

Key 2

“If you grasp and cling to life on your terms, you’ll lose it. 

But, if you let that life go, you’ll get life on God’s terms,”

Luke 17:33 (the message).

“Whoever tries to keep his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life will preserve it,”

Luke 17:33 (NIV).

POSITIVE THOUGHT (positive verb: cling)

I will cling to a new, enhanced version of my libido.  I will cling to the idea that frequent sexual relations will create a deep seated bond with my husband.  I will cling to a positive sexual energy towards my husband.  I will cling to the knowledge that sexual intimacy is God-ordained.

IMPORTUNATE:  Urgent or persistent, sometimes annoyingly so.

I love words.  (Higher math, not so much.)  When I stumbled across this word in my research for our 3^rd week Libido Key, I didn’t know the definition.  To me it looks like a multi-word. 

Similar to:   giant + enormous = ginormous. 

Importunate could say, “Important Opportunity.”  In a way, it does. 

Wouldn’t you be urgent and persistent, even annoyingly so if presented with an important opportunity that could incredibly bless your marriage, life and ultimately service to God?

Please take a moment to read Gill’s expository (bible commentary) of our Libido Key, Luke 11:9: 

And I say unto you, ask and it shall be given you……. This is said by Christ to encourage prayer, and importunity in it; that is anyone asks of God, in the name of Christ, and in faith, whether it be bread for the body, or food for the soul; or any blessing whatever; whether temporal or spiritual, it shall be given; not according to their deserts, but according to the riches of the grace of God who is rich unto all who call upon him, in sincerity and truth.
Seek, and ye shall find…..whether it be Christ, the pearl of great price, or God in Christ; or particularly pardoning grace and mercy through Christ, or the knowledge of divine things; and both grace here and glory hereafter, as men seek for hidden treasure; such shall not lose their labour, but shall enjoy all these valuable things, and whatever they are by prayer, and in use of other means, are seeking after.
Knock, and it shall be opened to you…..the door of mercy with God; the door of fellowship with Christ, the door of the Gospel and the mysteries of it and of the Gospel dispensation and church state, into which is admission, to all that seek; and the door of heaven, into which there is entrance by the blood of Jesus; the several phrases denote prayer, the continuance of it and the importunity of it.

I am no Bible scholar, but like I said, I love words.  I noticed a slight difference in some of the translations regarding Luke 11:9.  According to my limited research, Luke 11:9 contains the Greek present active imperative tense, which translated most correctly means to ‘make a habit of’ or ‘keep doing it.’  Which goes back to our word of the day, importunity!  Be persistent.

Every beautiful lady has a unique libido.  Let’s figure out what makes you tick!  Ask, and keep asking, God to reveal the secret of your sexual energy and desire for your husband.

Key 3

“So, I say to you, keep asking, and it will be given to you.  Keep searching, and you will find.  Keep knocking, and the door will be opened to you,” Luke 11:9, Holman Christian Standard Bible.

“And I say unto you, Ask, and it shall be given to you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you,” Luke 11:9, King James Version.

POSITIVE THOUGHT (positive verbs: ask, seek, knock)

I ask knowing I will receive a greater understanding of my Libido.  I seek the knowledge of the divine mystery, the oneflesh nature of my marriage that is God-ordained.  I knock on the door.  I will unlock my sexual desire.

Our 4th week Libido Key, Ezekiel 36:26, talks about having a stony heart.  I DO NOT believe you have hearts of stone, ladies.  Your hearts are full of the utmost compassion because you are reading this and trying to bring fulfillment back to your marriage bed.  This verse from Ezekiel is regarding the ‘stiff necked’ Israelites.  My emphasis here is the RENEWAL of the heart and Spirit through God’s action.

Our positive thought only has one sentence because I believe this one sentence is powerful.  It is more than enough for some of us who haven’t had the spark in a very long time.  Whatever the reason for your lack of sexual energy, remember marital sexual intimacy has a spiritual nature and as I say each week, is God-ordained.

Key 4

“I’ll give you a new heart, put a new spirit in you.  I’ll remove the stone heart from your body and replace it with a heart that’s God-willed, not self-willed.  I’ll put my Spirit in you and make it possible for you to do what I tell you and live by my commands,” Ezekiel 36:26

(the message).

 “I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; I will remove your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh,” Ezekiel 36:26

(Holman Christian Standard Bible).

“A new heart also will I give you, and a new spirit will I put within you:  and I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh and I will give you a heart of flesh,” Ezekiel 36:26

(King James Version).

POSITIVE THOUGHT (positive verb: give)

I give myself permission to be a sexually charged wife.

How do you feel about looking at yourself au natural?  If it makes you feel embarrassed, disconcerted, flustered, or even disgusted, then your negative body image may be an area that is sabotaging your libido.  This week’s affirmation helps create a positive body attitude.

Key 5

“….And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself,’”  Matthew 22:39.

“God saw all that he had made, and it was very good…” Genesis 1:31.

POSITIVE THOUGHT (positive verb: drink-in)

I love myself enough to drink in the thought that I am beautiful in God’s eye.  I drink in the thought I am beautiful in my husband’s eye.  I drink in the thought that my beauty is defined by God and nowhere else.  I drink in that my naked beauty is sexually attractive.

(Husbands, if you are reading, you are invited to pray these scriptures and thoughts over your wives.)

Visceral = felt in or as if in the internal organs of the body.

Remember the visceral nature of your passion for your husband?  Your entire body was awake and alive.  Each sensation or brush against your skin (with or without clothes) created a domino effect of building desire?  Let’s reclaim that!!

This week of Valentine’s is also National Marriage Week (Feb. 7 – 14).  Among the many reasons we married our husbands, wasn’t one of them to make love legally?  Immerse yourself in the memories of your visceral reaction to your husband.  You are an exciting sexually charged creature!

www.nationalmarriageweekusa.org

  

Key 6

“Above all, maintain an intense love for each other,

since love covers a multitude of sins,”  1 Peter 4:8 (Holman)

“Most of all, love each other as if your life depended on it. 

Love makes up for practically anything,”  1 Peter 4:8 (the message)

POSITIVE THOUGHT (positive verb: tingling)
This week of love, my body is tingling with sexual desire.  I have a visceral tingling of sexual desire.  I tingle knowing that sexual intimacy with my husband is God-ordained.

As low-libido wives, our physical nature can fool us.  Sexual intimacy in marriage is extremely important.  But, if we are to rely on our ‘instincts’ it may be to the detriment of our relationship with our husbands.

God uses our weakness to show His strength.  Our husbands need of greater sexual fulfillment, is actually to our benefit, physically, emotionally and spiritually. 

Are you grateful for the strengths your husband brings to your marriage?  Are you grateful for YOUR strengths?  Because, this is a reciprocal process.  Our strengths enhance our husbands’ weaknesses.  And, actually, maybe we should be grateful for our weaknesses, too.  Isn’t it His miracle when He bolsters our weaknesses?  For, we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us. 

Today I want to focus on embracing gratitude toward our sexually charged nature.  We KNOW that God will answer prayers that are in alignment with his will.  A marriage filled with sexually intimacy was designed by God.  We KNOW that our prayers for sexual desire will be answered positively.  Now, what we have to be aware of is that these answers may come in forms we don’t anticipate.  Isn’t our wonderful Lord, the Lord of humor and surprise?  Be open to what He may reveal.

Key 7

“This is the confidence we have in approaching God:  that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us.  And if we know that He hears us, whatever we ask, we know that we have what we asked of Him,” 1 John 5:14-15.

POSITIVE THOUGHT (positive verb: embrace)

I embrace my sexually charged nature.  I embrace gratitude that God is answering my prayer regarding sexually desiring my husband.  I embrace the emotional, physical and spiritual pleasure sexual intimacy brings to my marriage.  I embrace that sexual intimacy with my husband is God-ordained.

I will never discount miracles.  Miracles do still exist today.  Whether you count the birth of a baby or a miraculous healing, I will not put boundaries on my Lord.  He is capable of incredibly more than my minimal mind can fathom.  Trust in His limitlessness.

Miracles can burst forth in a nanosecond or in painfully slow increments.  Is a miracle any less if the progression is slow?

But, what if you are still on this side of the completed miracle?  Waiting. 

I invite you to participate in excited anticipation.

Our verse this week deals with the fullness of life we have in Christ and how he is molding our hearts as we walk the path with Him.

Key 8

"All around us we observe a pregnant creation.  The difficult times of pain throughout the world are simply birth pangs.  But it’s not only around us; it’s within us.  The Spirit of God is arousing us within.  We’re also feeling the birth pangs.  These sterile and barren bodies of ours are yearning for full deliverance.  That is why waiting does not diminish us, any more than waiting diminishes a pregnant mother.  We are enlarged in the waiting.  We, of course, don’t see what is enlarging us.  But, the longer we wait, the larger we become, and the more joyful our expectancy.

 Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God’s Spirit is right alongside helping us along.  If we don’t know how or what to pray, it doesn’t matter.  He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans.  He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God.  That’s why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good,"  Romans 8:22-28 (the message).

POSITIVE THOUGHT (positive verb: bursting)

My sexual energy is bursting forth every day.

See the entire Romans 8 chapter (the message), it’s one of my favorite passages.

For a miracle I don’t discount, read this Haiti account:  Multiplying Food And Supplies Among Medical Professionals

Sex frenzy.  That’s what our media content could be described as these days.

Many relationships that are outside of God’s guidelines are portrayed on small screen, big screen, print.  As low libido ladies, sometimes we have a polar reaction to what we see.  That reaction is to close up, to withdraw from our sensual nature.

We have to separate worldly sexuality from our sexuality as Christian wives.  Our sexuality is not defined by the world.  Ask God to help you see that.

Key 9

“You, dear children are from God and have overcome them (those who deny that Jesus is from God and who have the spirit of the world), because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world,” 1 John 4:4.

POSITIVE THOUGHT (positive verb: give)

I give myself permission to be a sexually charged wife.

The Lord loves a positive attitude in times of adversity.

In Numbers, chapter 13, Moses sends 12 spies into Canaan to explore what the condition was of the land and people. 

10 spies came back impressed by the fertile land yet afraid of the powerful looking inhabitants.  2 spies, Joshua and Caleb, knew that they could take the land because the Lord was with them.

In the end, the Israelites were persuaded by the 10 to NOT enter the land promised to them.  They weren’t confident in the Lord’s protection.  They had no faith.  These 10 who cowered at the thought of conquering giants were struck down with a plague and died.  Of the entire generation, only Joshua and Caleb would ever see the Promised Land.

Have faith in the Lord during your time of adversity, sweet sisters.  Low-libido may be your adversity, but He will show you a way to conquer it.

Sexual intimacy with our husbands is God-ordained and it can be quite pleasurable, whether that pleasure be physical, emotional or spiritual.

Key 10

“But because my servant Caleb has a different spirit and follow me wholeheartedly, I will bring him into the land he went to, and his descendants will inherit it,” Numbers 14:24 (NIV). 

POSITIVE THOUGHT (positive verb: release)

I release all negative thoughts I toward sexual intimacy with my husband.  I release all inhibitions of sexual intimacy with my husband.

Slang words come and go.  Words are christened with new definitions each generation.  Some ‘out of style’ words resurface.

There is a word that has taken on a slightly different tone in the last decade.  Sexy. 

In my high school years, I don’t remember using sexy as an adjective much. There was foxy, cute, and decent.  Sexy was reserved for an adult woman, like Sophia Loren, who was voluptuous or an adult man who was well formed or had a certain charisma.  It was rarely used to describe anyone under the age of 21.

I heard someone describe their iPhone as sexy.  There are pinterest boards named Sexy Inanimate Objects.

Sexy is evolving to encompass a broader definition than a person who illicits a sexual response.  If so, I think I like Rob Bell’s wife’s interpretation of what sexy should be in a wife’s mindset.

“Sexy is when it feels good to be in your own skin.  Your own body feels right.  It feels comfortable.  Sexy is when you love being you.”

That confidence is crucial for sex drive transformation.  You have to allow yourself to be comfortable.  Are you already comfortable in your skin?  What can you do to help improve if you aren’t comfortable?

Asking the Lord’s guidance to improve sexual intimacy with your husband is in accordance with His will!  Marital Sexual Intimacy is God ordained.  He’ll show you the path.  He wishes you both to enjoy its bonding and pleasure.

Key 11

“For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control,” 

1 Timothy 1:7(NIV).

“This is the confidence we have in approaching God; that if we ask anything according to His will, he hears us.  And if we know he hears us – whatever we ask – we know that we have what we asked of Him,” 1 John 5:14-15 (NIV).

POSITIVE THOUGHT (positive verb: accept)

I completely accept the skin I am in.  I completely accept that I am beautiful to my husband.  I completely accept that my body is wonderfully created for sexual intimacy and experience with my husband.

In Supernatural Sex, I tried to explain the spiritual dimension of sexual intimacy.  

It is in this realm that I’ve had the most healing experiences lately. 

At the risk of sounding alternative, I believe that sexual energy is a life-force energy.  It comes partly down to the cocktail of luscious biochemicals that are released in our brains while experiencing physical touch, even a greater burst is released during orgasm.  The other part, I truly believe is due to the spiritual nature of our lovemaking.  Thus we are one when we are making love, one with our spouse, one with God as a couple, Plus, your spirit and body are one, intrinsically linked.  You are a soul.

It’s spring around here.  (I’m sorry that phil the groundhog got it wrong for the rest of the US).  The blossoming of new life is dusting cars, porches and anything outside at-length with a powdery yellow-green of pollen.

The buds of azalea’s are loosening.  The azalea will open forth soon to reveal relaxed vibrance.

That’s what I envision the sexual energy of a woman with low libido.  Some of us are tightly wound.  Our beautiful blossom can’t be seen.  And yes, you could take that literally and figuratively.  When we allow ourselves to experience the drenching of love with our husbands, we slowly relax and are vibrant.  We have to let our hearts relax, uncoil and experience abandon (or at least no restraint, if ‘abandon’ is found to be too strong a thought).  It comes down to one decision.  Just try.

Let Jesus help you with this.  Let his healing spirit work within your mind and sexual intimacy.  Remember God is pleased with sexual intimacy.

Week 12

“…Do not be afraid.  Just believe, and she will be healed,” Luke 8:50.

POSITIVE THOUGHT (positive verb: relax)

I will relax and enjoy thinking about sexual intimacy with my husband.  I will relax and allow my soul to experience intimacy with my husband.

Who knows why random things float up like flotsam in the ocean of my mind.  I strain to remember my sister’s birthday, “Is it the 25^th or the 26^th?” And yet, an insult from 14 years ago transports in like Kirk on an away team.

I’ve got to attach an anchor and let it sink back down to the bottom.  Is this repression?  I don’t think so.  Usually the memory has to do with an incident that was resolved.  If I wallow in that past pain, it can color the rest of my day.  But, better than tying an anchor to it, what if we just let it float away to never be seen again?  Just release it, let it go, erase it from your page.  Maybe not release the incident, but accept the feelings and process the feelings around the incident.  Free yourself of them.

Why do the negative images crop up more than the positive ones?  It probably has to do with the theory that it requires hearing seven positive thoughts to counteract one negative.

Live in the present.  Let the past be gone, especially if it was resolved.

If we are accepting and connecting with where we are at, in the present, maybe we can work on accepting and connecting with the skin we’re in and accept/connect that it’s OK to be a sexually charged wife who enjoys intimacy (physical/emotional/spiritual) with your husband.

KEY 13

“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.  Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – His good, pleasing and perfect will,” Romans 12:2.

POSITIVE THOUGHT (positive verb: connect)

I am going to connect with my feelings and let bygones go bye-bye.  I am going to focus on the present and allow myself to connect with my sexual energy.  I am going to connect with my husband through sexual intimacy and therefore also connect to our creator.

Congratulations!  We have completed the first quarter of 2013’s positive thoughts and scriptures.  If you are here with me today, you have put your marriage as top priority.  I am proud of you for that!  More importantly, God is smiling down on you for your beautiful heart.

Sexual intimacy isn’t always easy for you.  I understand.  Believe me, I do.

We are all at different stages on libido scale.  Some of us may be running on empty all the time and some of us have ebb and flow.  There are different reasons for our lower drive;

exhaustion,

stress,

hormones,

lack of emotional connection with our spouse,

past issues that surface unexpectedly during intimacy,

teenagers running amock causing you grave concern,

trust issues,

poor health,

stress,

exhaustion,

add your own here__________________________________.

But, obviously there is a desire on your part to have greater frequency of lovemaking with your husbands, or you wouldn’t be reading.

My question to you is, can you pinpoint the area that most affects your libido level?  Instinctively, you must have an inkling.  My most influential areas are health/hormones and emotional connection.

Sometimes, we would just rather not think about it.  I get that.  But, denial isn’t going to help the situation.  Knowledge is power.  And if you can pinpoint the problem that is causing your libido to be drained, you can work on fixing it.

If it all seems a big mystery, PRAY.  Have faith in Jesus and the Holy Spirit.  Having trouble believing He can help you?  Then, He says we can even ask Him to help our unbelief. 

Key 14

“….But if you can do anything, take pity on us and help us.”“ ‘If you can?’” said Jesus.  “Everything is possible for one who believes.”  Immediately the boy’s father exclaimed, “I do believe, help me overcome my unbelief,”  Mark 9:23-25.

POSITIVE THOUGHT (action verb: feel)

I can feel my understanding about my libido increasing.  I can feel that sexual intimacy with my husband is God ordained.  I can feel that Jesus will help me increase my belief in the power of His healing.  I can feel that I am a sexually positive being.

Last week, I noticed that my neighbor’s yard was way greener than any other in the neighborhood.  Not being much of a yard person, I didn’t turn too green with envy.

Fast forward a couple of days, I was out getting the mail and took an upclose look at their grass.  It was spray painted!  Actually, I think it’s some kind of fancy fertilizer, but still, it was fake.

The grass is not always factually greener on the other side of the fence.  Sometimes that green is just spray painted on the surface.

Although the above actually happened, it’s not a new analogy.  Sometimes, old analogies have to be repeatedly beaten into our brains.

Don’t compare your mate to other mates.  Most all of us spray paint on our public façade.  We have a slightly different persona at home.  What you see isn’t always what you get, even though we should always act the same in public as in private.

You married your man for many wonderful qualities.  Qualities that are going to be different from the next guy.  Focus on the wonderful qualities that are present, not the qualities you wish that were there.  Be in love with your real man, not your ideal man.

After decades of marriage, I was finally blessed to know my husband’s bright and dark sides.  It is a blessing because I want to know ALL of him.  But, in knowing all of him he took that chance that he wouldn’t be my ideal anymore.  Well, heck am I HIS ideal?  I’ve got personality warts and dispositional basal cell carcinomas.

Our Ideal has to be Real.  Ideal images are unrealistic expectations.  Why always be disappointed when our expectations are astronomical?  Should we strive to be the ideal mate?  Yes, but only if it doesn’t inhibit your ability to appreciate the real in ourselves and our spouse.

That goes for our libidos!  If you’ve been struggling and are trying to reform, don’t set up astronomical expectations for yourself!   I rarely hear the overnight success story.  I do hear lots of success stories that took years in the making.  Consistent forward motion, no matter how tiny an increment, is still headed in the right direction.  It’s the old axiom, slow progress is still progress.

This week's positive action verb and thought will focus on approval and appreciation to counter the comparison game. 

Key 15

“You shall not covet your neighbor’s house; you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or his male servant, or his female servant, or his ox, or his donkey, or anything that is your neighbors’,” Exodus 20:17.

“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows,” James 1:17.

Positive Thought (action verb: Applaud)

I applaud my choice in a husband.  I applaud God’s design of sexual intimacy.  I applaud my continuing effort to increase my sexual energy.

Low libido wives are not sexually inadequate as the world touts.  We are made to think if we don’t have the eternal fires of passion running through our veins, we are lacking.  But, everyone is different.  Every marriage is different.  If you can ‘classify’ yourself as low-libido, there must be a mis-match of desires between the two of you.  But, this doesn’t mean that you are inadequate.  You are more than adequate.  It just takes a little confidence in redefining your sexuality.

                                                                     

Sexual intimacy, being designed by God, has many great benefits, even and especially for the low libido wife!  In my weakness, He has shown His strength.

Key 16

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts,

neither are my ways your ways,”

Declares the Lord.

“As the heavens are higher than the earth,

so are my ways higher than your ways,

and my thoughts higher than your thoughts,”  Isaiah 55:8-9

“Because the foolishness of God is wiser than men,

and the weakness of God is stronger than men,” 1 Corinthians 1:25

Positive Thought (action verb: give)

I give myself permission to be a sexually interested.  I give myself permission to enjoy the physical sensations and the positive emotional sensations.  I give myself permission to be a sexually charged wife.  I give myself permission to acknowledge that sexual intimacy with my husband is God ordained and to know that God is pleased with sexual intimacy.

Around this time of year, it’s easy to spot a New Yorker before they even speak their first tell-tale word.  For them, it’s already beach weather in Wilmington.  But, soon there will be all sorts of local young love at the beach.  College and high school kids take to the sun in the afternoons after class.  Who can't spot puppy love a mile away?  They are usually running after each other chasing.  Or, he’s throwing her in the water while she shrieks false resistance.  Some even fly kites, play volleyball or frisbee.

When’s the last time you and your love were playful?

Beautiful lady friends, let’s focus on positive touch.  Think through the day about ways your husbands can play through touch that is pleasing. 

I pray that the Lord bless you full awareness of positive touch and the ability to communicate it to your husband.

KEY 17

“Then our mouth was filled with laughter, and our tongue with shouts of joy; then they said among the nations, ‘The Lord has done great things for them,’” Psalm 126:2.

“…..May they always say, ‘The Lord be exalted who delights in the well-being of his servant,’” Psalm 35:27.

Positive Thought (action verb: welcome)  
I am a sexually charged wife.  I welcome my husband’s caresses.  I welcome my husband’s playful touch.  I welcome and acknowledge that sexual intimacy is God-ordained.

There’s a symphony playing through our veins.  There’s a crescendo and diminuendo of hormones, enzymes, antibodies, platelets and a plethora of other beautiful biochemicals.

Occasionally, maybe even rarely, as our day is orchestrated, a bright verdant chord sings out.  It’s the perfect combination to induce the glorious electric hum of physical desire.  Desire to make love to our husbands!

For low libido ladies, this physical component of random desire is refreshing and sometimes frightening.  What do we do with it?  Do we act on it?  It’s not the right time, we’re at work.  Or, I’ve got too much to do right now.

Act on it if at all possible!

Strike while the iron is hot

Make hay while the sunshines

Carpe Diem

Johnny on the spot

Now is the time!

Urgent Attention Needed

Don’t put off until tomorrow what you can do today.

If it’s not possible to act upon your chord immediately, don’t lose that lovin’ feelin’.  Easier said, than done, I know, to sustain the libido fermata.  But, here are some suggestions. 

Wear what makes you feel beautiful and alive.  May it be a pair of silky undies, pearl earrings, fuschia lipstick, or a sensual fragrance.  Light the candle in your bedroom.  (See Smellin’ Sexy)

If you’re at work, start listening to your favorite ‘in the mood’ music and

keep the upcoming encounter in the ‘lead section’ of your mind.  Let it build to fortissimo!

Let your husband in on the song that’s playing in your heart.  Let him know he can anticipate strumming your harp in the near future.  Then, follow through and bring the song to completion as soon as possible.

KEY 18

“Seek ye the Lord while He may be found,

call ye upon Him while He is near,” Isaiah 55:6.”

“The soul of the sluggard craves and gets nothing,

while the soul of the diligent is richly supplied,” Proverbs 13:4.

Positive Affirmation (carry)

I carry the knowledge that God ordains sexual intimacy.  I acknowledge and carry my hum of sexual desire and enlarge it.  I carry the knowledge I am a sexually charged symphony.

(If you live in the Cape Fear Region of NC, you may substitute the word ‘tote’ for carry, a little southern lexicon.)

I’ve been grocery shopping for decades now.  It’s taken me decades to connect the dots.

While standing in line to check-out, here are some magazine cover titles I saw:

Nasty Little Secrets He’ll Love in Bed

Dirty Filthy Paradise?

Sinful…..

Animalistic……

Raunchy Style

The media has used words to describe physical intimacy that do not adequately describe the beauty of God’s design.  Actually, they describe the opposite.

I decided NO.  I would not allow my mind to use the media words to describe my love making anymore.  It may be vanilla sex, but it isn’t nasty.  We may need a shower, but our rendezvous’ are never filthy.  It may be wildly enthusiastic, but it is never animalistic.  Our lovemaking is God ordained, never sinful.

(I wouldn’t be surprised if some marketing genius tried to give the word ‘fornicate’ a trendy spin.  Fornicate – the new buzz word.  Look how far the other ‘f’ word has come, and I’m not saying that is a good thing.)

I won’t let the media infiltrate my mind any longer.  Words are powerful.  God spoke the world into existence.

At the risk of damaging my credibility as one who supports only sound science, a Russian study has come to my attention.  I was not able to find it as a published journal article.  It states that wave frequency (sound) and language may be able to affect the structure of certain DNA.

The thoughts and beliefs we carry produce an energy that can affect our physical body and our mental state as shown in the Dec. 2012 Aravena study in France.   This is the study that we’ve been using as the 52 week transformation basis.

Low libido ladies take back the right to frame sexual intimacy in the best mental light possible.

Let’s come up with affirming F words that describe the many flavors of lovemaking and fill our minds to the fullest.

Frisky                         Finest                         Flowing                     Favored                            

Feisty                         Freeing                      Fabulous                    Frivolity

Fun                             Frolicsome                Fitting                        Frank

Flirtatious                 Festive                       Fearless                     Forgiving

Fundamental            Fiery                           Familiar                     Fortunate

Key 19:

“A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold is a setting of silver,” Proverbs 25:11

“and every high-minded thing that is raised up against the knowledge of God, taking every thought captive to obey Christ,” 2 Corinthians 10:5

Positive Thought

Sexual energy flows through my veins.  I flex my desire to make love with my husband, fully accepting it is God-ordained.  I am fearless and feel no shame.   I frolic with sexual desire for the union that cements the bond with my husband.