If you read Tuesday’s post, you know we celebrate 28 years of marriage this week.
It’s official, for more than half of our lives, we’ve totally baffled each other.
As much as I’d like to say I’ve perfected wife-dom, the only thing I do perfectly is imperfection.
Things I do extraordinarily imperfect.
Yard work – Eh, looks good enough.
Cope with Frustration – the ol’ attitude and snarkiness flare up.
Remember Stuff – Did you send a birthday card? Oh, Man, NO!
Communicate – “No, what you said was…” “Well, what I meant was..” “You never said that!” “Yes, I did. You never listen to me!”
Spontaneity – You mean, right now?!?
Marathon Shopping – It wears me out. Please don’t revoke my Girly Card.
Things I do somewhat imperfect.
Consistency – I change my mind, often.
Assumptions – I have a hard time getting myself out of the way to assume love.
Relaxation – If I’m not working aren’t I being lazy?
Self-Introspection – This causes a lot of ‘ouches.’
Things I do fairly imperfect.
Read Bible and Pray Daily
The least imperfect thing I do is persistence.
Persistence is sheer stubbornness with a tiny bit of faith. And, Mr. Muscle will tell you I’ve got plenty of stubbornness and just enough faith to be dangerous.
“We also rejoice in our afflictions, because we know that affliction produces endurance, endurance produces proven character, and proven character produces hope. This hope will not disappoint us, because God’s love has been poured out in our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us,” Romans 5:3&4.
Long-term persistence (endurance) created my version of sexual desire.
How can you cultivate long-term persistence? With a lot of help!
God wants you to hand over every aspect of your life to Him, including your sexuality. God designed sexual intimacy with your husband. It’s OK to pray about it, honest!
Give yourself permission to be imperfect.
Sex is a mystery to me and that’s OK. I’m OK where I’m at, but I’m going to be really OK working toward growth. Expect that growth will happen in your life, spiritual, emotional and physical, as you tackle reclaiming your low libido.
Two steps forward and one step back is still growth!
I’m most motivated when I’m just a little bit ticked off. Feeling helpless about my sex drive ticked me off. But, I realized I wasn’t helpless. I had HOPE.
I didn’t have to stay in this disheartened state of disconnection from my husband that happened to include ‘low libido.’
I started praying and being on watch “for whatever God will do next. In alert expectancy such as this, we’re never left feeling shortchanged. Quite the contrary—we can’t round up enough containers to hold everything God generously pours into our lives through the Holy Spirit!” (Rom. 5:5 the msg).
The juicy tingle of honeymoon days dried up. So, how do I plug into anything remotely sexy, whether it’s a mindset that my body is ‘not-bad’ or thoughts that occasionally wander to sexual things?
I realized my new brand of libido was going to be different from the honeymoon days.
It can lack physical urgency. More often it is a yearning for spiritual and emotional connection with my husband. Persistence has shown me that usually the want-to follows the willing-to. Desire doesn’t always show up until after things get started.
Every low libido wife has to figure out her brand of libido. Our God of hope will hear your prayers and help you develop your new brand of sexy.