My 20-something son phoned me very upset.  His girlfriend had given him an ultimatum of sorts.  She told him she may never believe in God, let alone a savior in Jesus Christ.  

He understood that even as the boyfriend, he had a budding leadership role to promote unity of faith.  This was a pivotal life moment.

When words came forth from my heart in counsel to my hurting son, I knew they were of the Holy Spirit.  I am not clever or discerning enough.  These are the 7 things my son was asked to contemplate regarding  his potential future with this young lady.
1.      As the husband, how will you promote spiritual unity within the home?
How do you anticipate marriage will flow if she doesn’t believe as you?  Will you expect conflict or calm, especially down the road when the newness of romance and honeymoon have long worn into everyday life?  Will you ever find spiritual joy together?
(Phil. 2:1-18)
2.    Where will you find the worth of your marriage and life together?
“For you know it wasn’t with perishable things such as silver or gold that you were redeemed from the empty way of life handed down to you by your ancestors, but with the precious blood of Christ, a lamb without blemish or defect,” 1Peter 1:18-19.
3.    What will be your purpose in life together? 
Will it be to work day-in and day-out to accumulate wealth and earthly treasure…or will your purpose be to look outside of yourselves to serve with God-endowed talents?
“But, whoever would be great among you must be your servant, and whoever would be first among you must be your slave, even as the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many,”  Matthew 20:26-28.
4.    What ‘life-manual’ are you going to use? 
As much as I’m an optimist, imperfect humans can’t be trusted to write and remain true to their own ‘moral code.’ Having high morals and integrity are good things.  Non-believers exhibit these fine qualities.  But, when these qualities are strengthened with the mercy and grace of Christ and the truths of God-breathed scripture, marriages can thrive.
5.     When problems arise (and they will), how will you work through them? 
When the husband and wife both have personal relationships with Jesus Christ, the marriage has an overtone of humility.  If God forgave me of my sins because of Christ’s sacrifice, how can I not forgive my husband of his sins?  Problems are prayed about and solutions revealed.  (Eph. 4:23)  Will divorce be an easy next step if the bride and groom haven’t mutually committed marriage vows unto God?
6.    From where will your children’s HOPE come?  
To me, this is MOST IMPORTANT.  Don’t you want to leave a legacy of HOPE for your children and subsequent generations?  Don’t you want to give them knowledge of the peace that passes all understanding in this world and eternal life in the next?  Fill their hearts with spiritual substance so that when they yearn for purpose and understanding they won’t run to drugs/alcohol/sex, they will run to the Bible.
“We, who have run for our very lives to God have every reason to grab the promised hope with both hands and never let go.  It’s an unbreakable spiritual lifeline, reaching past all appearances right to the very presence of God where Jesus, running ahead of us, has taken up his permanent post as high priest for us…,” Hebrews 6:18-20 (The Message).
7.     Are you prepared to teach your children about God and Christ and Holy Spirit ALL BY YOURSELF? 
Or, do you want a partner who will help impart Christ’s love and Biblical words to your children?  (Eph. 6:4)
Be strong and courageous, my dear son.  Marriage is much more complex than just a fun outlet of sexual expression.  If you are building a life together, who is the mortar between your bricks?  What tools are you going to use?   The wise man builds his house upon the rock.

“……Be careful to obey all the law my servant Moses gave you; do not turn from it to the right or to the left, that you may be successful wherever you go.  Keep this Book of the Law always on your lips; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it.  Then you will be prosperous and successful.  Have I not commanded you?  Be strong and courageous.  Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go,”    Joshua 1:8-9.

My prayer for you, young mama:  “God, please endow this lovely lady with insight for the future of her children or the children she mentors.  Help her be open to the Holy Spirit’s guidance when tough questions arise from these children.  Give her a ready answer about her faith and why her faith strengthens every facet of her life.  In Jesus’ name, I pray, Amen.”

See Also:  She Said, “YES!”  Now What

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