This blog is all about God’s hope.
“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit,” Romans 15:13 (NIV).
The mission of Bonny’s OysterBed7 is to encourage wives who find sexual intimacy hard with hope and practical help. Experiencing low desire when compared to a higher drive husband can feel defeating. Low libido is not a permanent condition. Low libido is not a defect.
My foundational thoughts.
Low-libido can be a physical problem, an emotional/relational issue, or a spiritual issue, or a combination of these three.
It’s not always about sex. It’s not always about feeling ‘steamy.’ Three-fourths of the desire dilemma is how you feel about yourself, your marriage, and Christ, understanding every low-libido wife is unique. Every marriage and situation is unique.
The goal is to help you understand that sex-drive isn’t just about quivering with the gotta-have-you-now feeling. Your drive for sex encompasses your entire life. Every interaction, every moment of stress or peace, every Bible study, everything you let into your brain and feed your belly, affects your desire for sexual intimacy. All within the grace of Christ and honoring to God’s divine plan.
I mostly explore these 6 things.
1. Sexual intimacy is an important part of God’s plan for marriage. (I did not understand that.)
2. Although not necessary to engage, sexual intimacy is more fun when you have physical desire and arousal. I like to explore how we can help our bodies with arousal and desire.
3. Sexual desire is closely tied with how you view yourself inside and outside. As well as, how you view your husband.
4. Sexual intimacy should be a reflection of your emotional intimacy and spiritual intimacy with your spouse.
5. Sexual intimacy includes tender realization that your higher drive spouse has vulnerabilities and insecurities in spite of bravado.
6. How a wife can start to heal from discovering her husband’s pornography use.
I assume you are married to an honorable, good-willed spouse.
I make the assumption that my readers’ are married to good-willed spouses. They are not perfect, but they are not abusive in any way. Good-willed spouses may not be connecting or showing love in the best manner, but their underlying intention is honorable.
I will never encourage anyone to stay in an abusive situation. Seek professional assistance and a safe place for you and your children if you are in fear of being harmed. If you think you may be in an abusive marriage, please read Leslie Vernick’s book, The Emotionally Destructive Marriage.