Lana Lang: Do you believe in destiny?
Clark Kent: I don’t want to.
Lana: Yeah, but you can’t escape it.
~Smallville, Season 4, Episode 1
Humans are destined for greatness. Each man (and woman) was created to reflect the image of our Intelligent Designer. Our God is the Creator and Worker, and therefore, our men have been given the desire to create, work, and do good things. Ephesians 2:10 says, “For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”
Unfortunately, God doesn’t shoot us an email or call us on the phone or send us messages on banners behind airplanes. Our life’s work and purpose isn’t spelled out for us in bold ink. There’s no specific manual for my husband called “Adam Williams: This is your life and this is exactly what you’re supposed to do.” This can make life decisions, career paths, ministry opportunities, and day-to-day tasks indecipherable.
In the opening episode of season 4 of Smallville, Clark Kent has an unexpected conversation with Lana Lang in his hometown’s mysterious caves. Clark had just recently been “transported” somewhere under the guidance of Jor-El, his birth father, and he’s feeling conflicted about the “destiny” his father has told him he needs to embrace. Clark doesn’t want to be a world conqueror. He simply wants to be small-town Clark Kent. Lana, however, replies that you can’t escape destiny.
Dictionary.com defines destiny as “the pre-determined, usually inevitable or irresistible, course of events.”
The Bible calls this: God’s providence.
Proverbs 16:9 says, “The mind of man plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps” (NASB).
Does this mean we have no choice over our life? Absolutely not! God gives us the opportunity to make decisions for ourselves. He merely gives us a yardstick to measure our choices by: His Word, and the gift of the Holy Spirit.
While God doesn’t give us all the details about what job, living location, ministry involvement, etc we should take over another, I believe it’s safe to say that God will bless whatever decision you make so long as it’s in line with His Word, brings glory to Him, and helps you fulfill your missional calling [See Proverbs 3:5-6; James 3:17; Colossians 3:17, 23-24; 1 Corinthians 10:31; Matthew 28:16-20; and Mark 12:29-31]
Your husband has many needs. In the next few weeks, we’ll be walking through 5 primary needs:
- He needs to know he is strong.
- He needs to know he matters.
- He needs to be taken seriously.
- He needs to know he’s special.
- He desires to capture the heart of his beauty
Last week, we talked about affirming your man’s strength. This week we’ll be talking about affirming your man’s need to make a difference.
Your husband needs to know that he matters. With many burdens and responsibilities pressing on him, and the conflicting messages from people around him, your man needs a home base – someone who is on his side and will be by his side no matter what – you! This is where one of your primary roles as a wife comes in: the role of encouraging supporter.
In the newest Superman movie, Man of Steel, Jonathan Kent, Clark’s father, tells his adopted son, “You just have to decide what kind of man you want to grow up to be, Clark. Whoever that man is, he’s going to change the world.”
Your words and actions have a profound influence on your husband’s mind and heart. Something I try to regularly remind my husband is that he has changed the world by making a difference in my life. While your husband may not be out flying around in a red cape, saving people and defending Earth against conquest-minded aliens, he does make a difference daily in the lives of those around him.
Believe in your husband. Tell him you’re proud of him. Speak highly of him to others. Let him know how much you appreciate him working hard for your family. If he isn’t working due to illness, injury, or some other reason, praise him for something he is doing (i.e. taking care of the kids, helping out around the house, praying with you, etc).
Your husband man notbe the Man of Steel, but you can certainly sharpen him as “steel sharpens steel, so one friend sharpens another” (Proverbs 27:17, MSG). John Gill’s Exposition of the Bible sheds more light on what this means: “a person (sharpens) the countenance of a friend by conversation with him…Christians sharpen one another’s graces, (stirring) up each other to the exercise of them, and to the gifts which are bestowed on them, and to love and good works.”
As a wife, you’ve been placed in the unique position to inspire confidence in your man through your relationship with him. Through conversations and your actions, you have the power to help him grow in his Christian walk, use his gifts wisely, and encourage him to be confident in himself, his work, his goals, and his dreams.
Encourage him to take risks.
Superman could’ve easily stayed as Clark Kent, the farm boy from Kansas. He could’ve suppressed his powers and his gifts. But he didn’t: he took a leap of faith. If there’s anything Superman has taught me it’s this: in order to know who you are, you have to step outside your comfort zone.
We don’t grow the most in staying where we are. We grow the most when we move forward. It’s natural to be fearful of the unknown, but by venturing into the unknown your husband is able to discover his true identity and purpose in life. This is made easier with you by his side. Your husband isn’t alone. Wherever life is taking your husband, God is already there. Your husband’s whole future is known to God.
If Clark Kent had chosen his life path based only on what he could see, he never would’ve become Superman. Encourage your husband to look beyond life’s circumstances, the things he can tangibly see, and to take a leap of faith. Encourage him to use his gifts to bless those around him. God doesn’t want him to bury his gifts underground, just like Clark Kent wasn’t supposed to hide his powers/abilities from the world. If your husband isn’t sure what these gifts/talents are, encourage him to take the free spiritual gifts survey from Lifeway. Encourage him to connect with your local church community to seek advice on how to move forward and use his gifts once he does knows what they are.
Dream with him.
In the 1978 Superman movie, Jor-El, Superman’s biological father, says in his final message to Clark: “Live as one of them… to discover where your strength and your power are needed… They can be a great people… they only lack the light to show the way. For this reason… I have sent them you… my only son.”
Despite the fact that Clark Kent was surrounded constantly by darkness, he still represented the light. As Christians, we have an even greater gift.
This is what God did for us. He sent Jesus Christ, His only Son, to walk and dwell among us. John 1:4,14 says, “In Him (Christ) was the life, and that life was the light of all mankind. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it… (Christ) became flesh and made His dwelling among us. We have seen His glory, the glory of the One and Only Son, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth.”
Jesus came ultimately to reestablish relationship between us and the Father. He came to be the Light and bring us the Light. In John 8:12, He says, “I am the Light of the world. Whoever follows Me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.” As representatives of Christ, we also are the light – and we are to “…shine before others, so that they may see your good works, glorify the Father in heaven” (Matthew 5:16).
God has given us the beautiful capacity to share in the life and light of Jesus Christ, and has given us the gift of eternaland abundantlife. Doesn’t that give you incredible hope for the future? Your husband has the gift of eternal life and the light of God living inside him. How exciting is that?
Share your hopes, fears, and goals with one another. Create a vision for your future together and put it on paper.
You Can Empower Him!
“He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart… I know there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live. That each of them may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all their toil – this is the gift of God.” Ecclesiastes 3:10-13
While Clark Kent may have felt like he couldn’t control his destiny, and while your husband can’t control his future, he can be encouraged, inspired, and uplifted by the fact that he is unconditionally loved and supported, and that God goes before him. As a wife, you play such a key role in helping meet your man’s need to make a difference.
Your husband is a beautiful creation. Value him. Make time to fellowship with one another and share meals together regularly, making time to communicate your joint vision for the future. Build him up by reminding him about the daily difference he is making in the lives of those around him. Embolden him to take risks, to step outside his comfort zone, and to share his gifts with the world. Make his dreams a priority in your marriage, and dare to dream with him.
See Part 1 of Awaken the Super in Your Man: Affirm His Strength!
Please jump over to Becoming His Eve and check out more ideas from Hannah.
My name is Hannah Williams (a.k.a. Adam’s Eve) and I write a blog called Becoming His Eve. I am a spunky housewife married to a wonderful man of God and an amazing, loving sexy husband who gives big bear hugs and wonderful words of encouragement. And in ase you’re wondering, my husband’s name really is Adam. ;o) I have a passion for young women, writing, books, baking, nature, and music! I want to use my gifts, talents, and abilities to help transform relationships and communities for the Kingdom of Christ.