My low-libido intervention started in a small room in my heart. Not with a close cluster of good friends and family, just the Holy Spirit urging me to embrace this part of marriage with irreverent reverence.
Today I offer just one suggestion for your intervention.
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God,”Philippians 4:6.
PRAYER is essential. It is the first weapon of offense for the low sex drive wife. It tethers you to the creator of sex for intimacy in marriage. It’s the first weapon of defense, too, because it helps repel the enemy.
I never dreamed that I would pray to God about sexual desire. It felt like I was praying for a new Ferrari, at first. Wasn’t it frivolous to want to have sexual desire? Wasn’t that just fluff? I should pray for my needs or other people’s needs, not my wants. However, the other half of this marriage (i.e. hubby) felt strongly that sexual desire on my part wasn’t just fluff.
Pray for libido resources to be revealed.
Pray resources will come to help you understand HOW to increase your sexual desire.
Every situation is different. Unfortunately, there is no ‘cure all.’ Female Viagra sounds enticing. However, a quick fix may not be the right fix. I am not discounting that God could bestow a libido miracle if he wanted. But, maybe part of your walk with God will involve being proactive with your married sex life.
Intentional Libido: Start reading, start googling, start talking to your friends and healthcare workers. Ask God to guide you to the knowledge you need to increase your libido for yourself and your husband. Be open to the unorthodox (not unethical or ‘sketchy’, just outside of the box a little), you never know where help may come.
Pray for relaxed communication with husband.
Let your hubby in on the secret. You are trying to improve your libido. Things got a lot better when Mr. Muscle (a.k.a. Dave) and I got comfortable talking outside of the bedroom about our sex life.
If there are sensitive items you need to discuss with your husband, pray for the exact right moment and words to convey your thoughts. You may want to tell him you need:
1) encouragement and positive words during the rendezvous.
2) more time to get in the mood, like a whole day.
3) a different technique (rough, gentle, faster, slower).
4) more non-sexual touch (affection) through the day. Etc….
God will give your husband an open heart to hear and accept what you have to say.
Pray for an attitude shift.
Find your jolly heart. Laughter and orgasm release nearly the same amount of feel good bonding chemicals in your brain. Your jolly heart will reshape the sexual encounter into a rendezvous, tryst, sexcapade, etc., not just a chore.
My jolly heart likes an inside joke. Sometimes I wear seductive undies. I think it’s funny because if the public only knew what this middle aged woman occasionally has on under her capris….and it makes me feel a little sexy, even when the persona I show to the world isn’t.
“A merry heart doeth good like a medicine, but a broken spirit drieth the bones,” Proverbs 17:22.
Ask your husband to pray with you and for you regarding sexual intimacy. In addition to libido, your husband can pray for ways to make you more comfortable and encouraged in the bedroom. He can pray how to connect with you more emotionally outside of the bedroom to eliminate all obstacles in regaining your libido.
Beautiful friend, know that God will answer your prayers positively!! God desires families to be strong. Families are strong through spiritual, emotional and physical unity of the mama and papa. Part of this unity comes from a satisfying sexual experience for both husband and wife.
If your husband is not as strongly connected to his faith as you, this may be a way to mentor your faith in God. As he witnesses you actively praying for answers to improve his most favorite ‘bonding time’, and seeing positive steps being made, hubby may begin to realize that there is something to this ‘faith’ stuff.
LOW LIBIDO IS NOT EXCLUSIVE TO FEMALES. Does hubby have the low libido? Start praying these things for him.
What have I forgotten? Please share your ideas or experiences about what other specific items can be prayed for regarding regaining libido.
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