This past week, family pain has converged.  This pain has brought me to a point of deep contemplation about the very basic nature of human beings.

Human nature boils down to love and fear.

Fear keeps us from embracing the growth God sends us through difficulties (like being married to a spouse with a higher sex drive than you).  Love allows us to see farther into the future and outside of ourselves (like maybe sex has some benefits to consider).

Fear keeps our arms crossed and our eyes down (working on sex is scary and I don’t want to step outside of my comfort zone).  Love allows us to see the bigger picture (maybe God did design sex for my benefit, as well).

Fear keeps our focus on the superficial (my husband only wants to experience the physical hit of orgasm, he doesn’t really want me, just my body).  Love allows us to look beneath the surface (maybe my husband connects emotionally through the physical symbol of sexual intimacy).

Embracing God’s love means we are confident that he has our future.  We don’t know the steps to be taken or the roads we will travel.  There may be some mighty tough roads.  If we surrender our preconceived notions, God may lead me on a fascinating and positive journey towards understanding how I work sexually.  The mystery is embracing that this journey may help me grow more and more into the character of Christ.

If becoming more and more like him means we go through the refining fire of hardships, so be it.

Do we like being refined, no, but remember….

James 1:1-5, “Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So, don’t try to get out of anything prematurely.  Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way.  

If you don’t know what you’re doing, pray to the Father.He loves to help.You’ll get his help, and won’t be condescended to when you ask for it,” The Message.

Fear is a perceived threat.  Threat of physical harm, threat of our social standing, threat of financial ruin, threat of heartbreak.  Threats aren’t promises.  God gives us promises.

Romans 8:31, “…If God is for us, who can be against us?”

Psalm 23:4, “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me.  Your rod and your staff, they comfort me.”

Psalm 27:1, “The Lord is my light and my salvation, whom shall I fear?  The LORD is the stronghold of my life, of whom shall I be afraid?”

Psalm 118:6, “The Lord is with me; I will not be afraid.What can man do to me?”
What does this have to do with my central theme of building a wife’s sexual interest?  Fear seeps into every aspect of our lives.  Maybe some of us are afraid to embrace sexual intimacy fully.  Are you afraid to surrender yourself completely to sexual intimacy?  Afraid that sex isn’t anything more than physical?  Afraid God will think less of you if you revel in the pleasure?  Afraid that your husband will expect even more if you embrace your sexuality?  Maybe you’re afraid of aging and the evolving nature of your sexual energy.
Accept the challenge to lay your fear down.  Don’t be afraid of your situation.  God will keep his promise to provide strength, support, and healing.

If you are afraid of the emotional pain during sexual healing, consider your emotions are like waves.  Let them roll over you and remember the good news about waves is their sets do clear out after a time.  The sea can and often does become calm and glassy.  Release the fear that the pain will last forever.  It won’t.  It will become your blessing.  God will be standing with you the entire time.

 

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