Here’s my list of recommeded books while on your journey to a more full libido.
Surprisingly, my list is not exclusively sex books. The secret to libido is nurturing all aspects of your life. My spiciness simmers when I’m feeling like an empowered Christian woman. Sexuality is so much more than putting the male sprocket into the female receptacle.
I am recommending these books knowing that you and I will probably not agree on every aspect of every little thing. These books have great value to me even if I didn’t agree with 100% of what was written. Mostly, I did agree and found that the growth I experienced from reading them outweighed any negative.
Jesus Calling by Sarah Young has been a refreshing addition to my morning prayer and study.
The Book of John – Gospel of the New Testament (I study a different gospel every year to keep knowing Jesus better and better. Yes, I realize I’m reading the same four books. It’s amazing how you pick up different nuances in scripture as you balance different experiences in life. It’s a living, active book, after all!)
Search For Significance – Robert S. McGee. This helped me understand my identity in Christ like no other book. (Always do your own study when following along a devotional book. Don’t take their word for it, even mine! “Study to show thyself approved unto God, a workman that need not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth,” 1 Timothy 2:15.)
Boundaries; When to Say Yes, How to Say No and Take Control of Your Life by Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend. This helped me prioritize my obligations and gave me Biblical permission to take care of myself.
The Sex-Starved Marriage by Michele Weiner-Davis (secular) – Self-explanatory. Great unbiased insight by this award winning psychologist. She helps the low drive and the high drive spouse understand what’s going on in this sexless conflict.
Becoming One (Emotionally, Spiritually, Sexually) by Joe Beam (Practical tools for growing the ‘big 3’ in your marriage, sexual/emotional/spiritual intimacy. Written by a man who’s story involves addiction, divorce, and God’s merciful redemption. With God, Joe restored his relationship and remarried his wife. He went on to earn his doctorate in sexual psychology. Now, he runs marriagehelper.com a site to help marriages be restored after infidelity.)
Love and Respect by Emmerson Eggerichs (This book has good insight. However, be prepared that it perpetuates certain cultural stereotypes that may not be a male/female thing in your marriage but a high-drive/low-drive thing.)
Sheet Music: Uncovering the Secrets of Sexual Intimacy in Marriage by Dr. Kevin Leman (This is a fun, frank Christian book that addresses a wide assortment of personality types. Really top notch. I also suggest Dr. Leman’s, A Chicken’s Guide to Talking Turkey with your Kids about Sex.)
Sex Savvy by J. Parker (There’s no better Christian practical how-to book out there.)
Intimacy Revealed by J. Parker (A look at what scripture says about relationship and sex.)
The Meaning of Marriage by Timothy Keller (Originally written as a sermon series for singles! This is an insightful and inspiring look at how to keep God’s design of marriage in the forefront of your mind.)
His Needs/Her Needs by Dr. Willard Harley (Understanding the dynamics of differing needs between the spouses. How to see things from another perspective. Another book that can seem sexist, although to his credit he states in the beginning that he realizes stereotypes aren’t necessarily correct.)
These last books helped me understand my husband better.
What Could He Be Thinking? How a Man’s Mind Really Works by Dr. Michael Gurian (This is wonderful insight into the male mind and why it works the way it does. Takes some of the mystery out of your mister.)
Sex, God, and Man by Dr. Douglas Weiss (for marriages dealing with pornography)
Surfing for God by Michael John Cusick (for marriages dealing with pornography.)
and of course, I can’t send out a book list without including my own.
Unlock Your Libido: 52-Week Sex Drive Transformation by Bonny Logsdon Burns (this is available as an ebook only, at the moment. Join me as I guide you through scripture/prayer/thoughts to become a beautiful, sensual wife.
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