THANK YOU to everyone who took the Libido survey. The large number of responses overwhelmed me. I so appreciate your time and honesty in answering about your level of sexual desire. (If you wish to take the survey, click here.)
Thank you fellow marriage bloggers for promoting the survey, too!
The question I’ve been asking myself is, “Why didn’t I survey y’all sooner?” Not only did I learn who you are and what you are dealing with, several of you left very encouraging messages. Your words made my heart smile.
There were 305 responses. 303 respondents were female.
Question 1 gauged level of sexual desire. Here’s a statistical breakdown of the three choices offered and a write-in comment box.
70% checked, ‘I have no physical desire (vaginal moisture, ‘gotta-have-you-now’ feeling) to prompt me to engage sexually with my husband.’
17% said, ‘I have some physical desire, but struggle to engage because of emotional disconnection with my husband.’
8% checked the ‘other’ box. Of the 24 (8%) that checked the other box; 6 left the comment blank, 6 were higher drive wives, and the others left comments which included thoughts on depression, vaginal pain, and poor body image.
5% are repelled by the thought of sexually engaging with their husbands.
Q2. What affects your sex drive?
(This list starts with the most frequent answer and ends with the least frequent answer.)
- I don’t like how my body looks (most frequent answer)
- I don’t feel emotional connection with my husband
- Not enough time
- I don’t feel pretty
- I cannot climax
- Pain, vaginal / Pain, other / Poor Health / Medications
- My husband wishes to engage in sexual acts I’m not comfortable with
- My husband doesn’t take direction
- I am not attracted to my husband
- My husband is too rough
- I am unsure what the Bible says about sex (least frequent answer)
Write-ins included: Fatigue, interruptions, pregnancy, menopausal hormones, need more flirting, need to feel desired more, husband needs better hygiene, wife’s anger, Bible doesn’t promote sexual intimacy.
Q3. How did low libido enter your life?
- Having children (most frequent answer)
- Never had much sex drive
- Hormonal birth control
- Trauma (least frequent answer)
Write-ins included: rape, pre-marital sexual sin, and relationship issues.
Q4. What helps your libido?
The vast majority of you took time to write in what you have found helpful! I am very grateful for your candor. One of you made me chuckle, asking, ‘We can be completely honest, here, right?’ Absolutely!! That’s what it’s all about.
I am not going to list them all here. I will be writing a separate post about those answers. Thank you for sharing your heart.
Is this you? I am looking for a certain lady who took the survey and commented on, January 10. You offered a suggestion of a certain doctor and I would love to talk more with you about your experience. Please email me: firstname.lastname@example.org.
Q5. What would you like to read on OysterBed7 in 2015?
- Science/Medical information in improving physical low libido (most frequent answer)
- Difficult topics (oral sex, anal sex, sex toys, premarital sex, infidelity, pornography)
- Light ideas for how to connect with your husband to lift emotional libido,
- Biblical thoughts regarding body image and sex to lift spiritual libido,
- Beauty/Fashion Ideas to help improve how you feel about yourself (least frequent answer)
2015 Direction of OysterBed7
Thank goodness y’all like science/medical articles, because that’s what I love, too. There will definitely be more of those coming. With the high number of anorgasmic readers, I’ll continue with orgasm research.
I was surprised that ‘difficult topics’ was highly favored. So, I will take a deep breath and start tackling some hot topics. I will give you the biblical and physical pros and cons. I’ll end the posts with my opinion. Ultimately, I want you to prayerfully make up your own mind about the hot topics. I will try to give you all the scientific and biblical insight I can to help you make an informed decision.
If you have any particular question you’d like me to address, please email me at email@example.com.
Must read for low libido wives, gentle yet powerful encouragement, You Have a Sex Drive by Lori Byerly at The Generous Wife.
If this is your first time visiting OysterBed7, Welcome!
Please see why sex is my focus.