My husband, Dave (a.k.a. Mr. Muscle), is a guy’s guy. He loves to fish, hunt, and order alligator off the menu. He’s proficient at anything that involves projectiles traveling at enormous speeds, skeet shooting and Call of Duty respectively. He loves grinding down his teeth on spicy Cajun beef jerky.
He can install home surround sound in one afternoon. He taught me the physics of toilets so that I could fix an overflow in his absence. He’s saved us a bundle by maintaining our cars through the years. He aced pharmacokinetics in Pharmacy school.
I have much to admire about him.
What I love the most about him is his COURAGE.
It’s the typical courage, strength in the face of physical danger. However, it’s also strength in the face of public scorn, strength to ignore what others think. It’s the courage to just be himself and live out his convictions.
His courage allows his emotions to overwhelm him during public and private prayers.
His courage gives him compassion to help a stranger fix their flat tire on the side of the road.
His courage inspires him to spout the corniest of puns.
His courage urges him to chaperone the 8th grade field trip.
His courage compels him to listen to KLOVE radio in a car full of unbelieving teenagers.
His courage, as a slight introvert, is the only thing that could help him face the fear of playing Elvis (in a flimsy costume, mind you) at the church’s Christmas party.
His courage and faith in God’s purpose allows him to listen as our son ponders if Christianity is something he really believes in.
His courage spurs his helpfulness to jump up to clear dishes at any social function.
His courage ignores “the man club” and “marriage bashers” in order to publicly uplift me and our marriage with words.
“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength,
while loving someone deeply gives you courage,” Lao Tzu.
His act of courage that stands above the rest is when he said, “I can change.”
Our marriage started to crumble at about year 15. My man’s man could have said, as many men before him have said, “That’s just the way I am! I can never change!”
But, he didn’t. Instead, he said, “I am committed to this marriage. You’re miserable. I’m miserable. Let’s figure out how to fix this.”
His act of extreme courage involved reading books, praying with me, attending classes, and engaging in heartfelt discussion. His act of extreme courage was opening his heart to reveal nooks and crannies I hadn’t seen before. His act of extreme courage was removing his heart’s armor and trusting I wouldn’t hurt him.
“The LORD is my light and my salvation– whom shall I fear?
The LORD is the stronghold of my life– of whom shall I be afraid?” Psalm 27:1.
And lastly, His courage in finding patience with me as we both learned the multi-ignition system of my low-libido. My part of our crumbling marriage involved resurrecting my sexual interest. When our marriage was at its worst, I stubbornly refused to see how important sexual intimacy was to him. I denied it.
God eventually took the scales from my eyes. I began to see sexual intimacy in a new light. As we engaged more, our entire relationship blossomed into what I had always yearned for, connection. That is why the focus of my blog is to encourage the low-libido wife. I want to help your marriage blossom with what you have always yearned for, too.
Please see Julie Siebert’s post at Intimacyinmarriage, “6 Reasons I Love My Husband.”