I greatly apologize for not posting Week 45’s Sex Drive Transformation, even when Forgiven Wife had written a lovely guest post. I just couldn’t even touch a computer for a week. (See Waging War)
The roller coaster ride of emotions is heading into the final turn. The emotions are stabilizing, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t work ahead of us.
I’ve long told those who counsel friends with marriage problems that the problems are never one sided. When Mary at jazzercise goes on and on about how her sister’s jerk-of-a-husband is ruining the marriage, I gently remind Mary that her sister isn’t faultless. It’s humbling when the admonishes you have given others come to settle right in your own lap.
Sometimes marriage issues are reactions. Sometimes they are omissions.
I learned to own my part of our marriage issues 15 years ago and I’ll do it again. Back then, it was easy to see what my part was. I was refusing in the bedroom. This time, it’s deeper and identifying what I need to fix isn’t quite so easy to see. That kind of sounds like denial, but I am not denying. It takes me longer at self-introspection sometimes. It doesn’t mean I’m not willing to figure it out, it just takes time.
Where is OysterBed7 going from here?
The goal of O7 has always been authenticity. There was a moment this past week when I felt like a fraud. How can I write about marriage when my own isn’t sailing as God would have it?
Then a dear friend pointed out that I have never portrayed us as perfect. There hasn’t been any pretension. All our friends at church and in real life know we have struggles. We work hard to take the mask off every day.
Mr. Muscle and I are committed to our walk with Christ. We know what a fruit filled life should look like. We know that when you walk out of the orchard, Satan takes hold.
Here’s the biggest different between 15 years ago and now. Today, we are on the same team. 15 years ago, it was Batman versus Catwoman. I wanted to scratch his eyes out and he wanted to run me over with the batmobile. Now, I more fully know the heart of this man. I know his desire to be the godly Christian husband he was called to be.
There is no condemnation from me. I only want us to be whole. I know that my warrior is a Man of Valor. I am walking beside him, convicted of God’s desire for purity of heart. I am so convicted that I am adamant about a few things.
I can be adamant without arrogance. What I am adamant about isn’t for me. I am adamant about things that are for spiritual and emotional health for him and our marriage.
I want to live out loud and talk openly regarding marriage struggles and their solutions. There will be no secrets. Mr. Muscle has always been on board with this.
Driven by HOPE, the Holy Spirit provides the power and Abba Father provides the resources.
The forecast – I will finish the O series slowly. I will continue with the rest of our Sex Drive Transformation weeks (only 7 more).
O7 will be entering a new era that will include thoughts on pornography. I think conquering this is yet another avenue to bolster our low libido. It’s a secret shadow, although we don’t see it, we can feel it. We can feel that there is something just not quite right. It affects the spiritual purity of our marriage and hinders intimacy for many different reasons. I realize both husbands and wives can be addicted.
As we move forward, Mr. Muscle suggested I include this with my post today and I wholly agreed. This is why we are living out loud……Please watch this incredible 6 minute video, you won’t be sorry!! It’s very uplifting. It’s The Rend Collective’s Campfire Story.