Let's enjoy a swim in the Tidepool and share laughs and tears about how these struggles have shaped

Sunday, October 19, 2014

First Steps in Battling Pornography


I am the featured blogger today at, 31 Days to a Better Marriage.

October’s, 31 Days to a Better Marriage, (hosted by Carlie Kercheval at Managing Your Blesssings) features 31 different voices.  These voices speak on all aspects of marriage.

So, follow me over to Managing Your Blessings for my post, “First Steps in Battling Pornography.”  And if you haven't checked out the other offerings, yet, please do so after reading mine.  You might find a helpful tidbit.







If this is your first time visiting OysterBed7, Welcome!  Please see why sex is my focus, peruse the archives and don't forget to follow me via facebook fanpage or twitter (@oysterbed7)

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Thursday, October 16, 2014

Words of Wisdom: Sex Matters


I am a member of the Christian Marriage Blogger’s Association.  In the month of October, we have been challenged to share Words of Wisdom we've learned from:  Family, Bible, Friends, Blogs & Books.

Today, I share words of wisdom I learned in the Bible.

Biblical stories of sex always confused me when I was young.

I remember reading about:   The rape of Dinah; Lot’s daughters getting their father drunk to lay with him;  Samson hanging out with ladies of the night;  Judah being seduced by his disguised daughter-in-law; Amnon raping his half sister, Tamar.

The Song of Solomon shed positive light on sexual intimacy.  However, the imagery was difficult for me to grasp as one who was still innocent about ‘the way of a man with a woman.’

The New Testament seemed to prefer celibacy as the state of sexuality. 

Then there were my teenage hormones.  I liked thinking about sexual things.  Why did God put this heat inside me if sex is violent and disgraceful?

I finally realized what all these stories were teaching me.

Sex is powerful. 

It is so powerful that it can only be used for good when it is aligned with God’s perfect plan.  That’s why sexual sin is so hard to overcome emotionally and sexual violence is the epitome of evil.

God is love and he created sexual expression.  If we are to obey Jesus’ greatest commands to love God and love others as ourselves, we are going to obey his plan for sexuality.

Sex matters so much that when we ignore its power and importance in marriage, the relationship suffers.  The relationship especially suffers when sex is ignored by one and is very important to the other.

What if you have low libido or have health problems and sex is difficult for you?  Well, if your spouse needs to be sexual with you, you work together to figure out a solution.  You don’t ignore it.

The Bible has shown me that sex is powerful and it matters.  If you want to start improving your marriage's sexual expression, but aren't sure how, pray!  That's where I started.

Other CMBA 'Wisdom from Bible' offerings:
The Forgiven Wife
Becoming His Eve
The Generous Husband
Becoming the Better Man
Directed Path Ministry



If this is your first time visiting OysterBed7, Welcome!  Please see why sex is my focus, peruse the archives and don't forget to follow me via facebook fanpage or twitter (@oysterbed7)

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Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Music for the Eclectic Violin Bedroom

Bedroom Soundtracks
Offering you samples of eclectic music
to enjoy and consider for your personal lovemaking playlist:

Black Violin (hip hop/classical)



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9NUBwDtWAmk

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

Finding Wisdom Elsewhere

Hello, friend!

Are you finding any tidbits of inspiration at 31 Days to a Better Marriage?  I hope that you are following me on facebook to receive the daily links!



I also hope that you have been reading the Christian Marriage Blogger Association writing challenge, Words of Wisdom (WoW).   You can find an updated list of all the participating CMBA blogs at the bottom of Food Equals Love.





Please look forward to next week's guest series by Abra Carnahan of merebreath.com.  She's a sincere and sweet gem!  She loves to share her faith and help others find hope.  She will be sharing some wonderful insight and ways to connect sexually with your husband while managing a young family.


I’m sorry today’s post is a little fluffy.  This last month has been filled with family love.  My widower father-in-law, along with his new special lady friend, visited our home a few weeks ago.  Mr. Muscle and I then traveled to Nashville to help care for our niece and nephews while their parents traveled to a Down Syndrome seminar.  Just last week, my 2 sisters and a west-coast cousin visited.  I returned to Tennessee with them to spend a few days with my invalid father. 

So, please look forward to Abra next Tuesday, peruse the 31 Days to a Better Marriage and the CMBA bloggers for today’s wisdom!  I’m home now and confidant my mojo will return.  But right now, I’m flat out too exhausted to come up with anything.  J


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Thursday, October 9, 2014

Words of Wisdom: Food Equals Love


I am a member of the Christian Marriage Blogger’s Association.  We have been challenged with four writing prompts for the month of October.  Words of wisdom from Family, the Bible, Friends, and Books & Blogs.

Today, I respond to the first prompt:  Words of Wisdom about marriage from family.

I’ve written about my mom’s country marriage wisdom However, I left out one of her favorite sayings, “The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.”

As a teen girl, I used to think this concept was pretty simplistic.  Wouldn’t a man be offended if you thought his needs mostly comprised of food and sex?

According to Mr. Muscle, men are pretty basic.  They need a purpose.  They need to feel respected and cared for.  They need to feel loved.  Preparing food for your man would show respect. 

In looking at this country cliche through eyes of marriage experience, I see much wisdom.  It’s not fluffy, it’s foundational.  But, I think rephrasing increases its value.

“Strengthen the heart of your marriage through meals.”

Sharing a meal is intimate.  Eating is a base need, but there are traditions surrounding it.

Meals bring people together.  Meals make hungry bellies happy and that spills into happier temperaments.  Meals can be a time when you work together.  Or meals can be a time when you serve your spouse.  Meals help a couple make time for each other or meals help the entire family spend time together.

I think cooking Mr. Muscle’s favorite dinner does help him feel special and respected.  However, it doesn’t really matter who does the cooking, as long as time is made to sit down and de-stress.  Make time to share a meal and conversation.


I share more about the influence of my mom and grandmother here.

Other CMBA 'Wisdom from Family' offerings:
The Forgiven Wife
The Generous Wife
Hot, Holy & Humorous
Stupendous Marriage
Becoming His Eve
The Romantic Vineyard



If this is your first time visiting OysterBed7, Welcome!  Please stay awhile, peruse the archives and don't forget to follow me via facebook fanpage or twitter (@oysterbed7)

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Wednesday, October 8, 2014

Music for the Exotic Bedroom


Bedroom Soundtracks
Offering you samples of eclectic music
to enjoy and consider for your personal lovemaking playlist:

Peter Hollens & Malukah:  Civilization IV Theme 




https://www.youtube.com/watch?=17svtURunUk&feature=em-subs_digest

Tuesday, October 7, 2014

31 Days to a Better Marriage is Out!



The 31 Days to a Better Marriage series is out!  This year’s hostess is Carlie of Managing Your Blessings.

Every day during the month of October a different wife shares insight about marriage.

Topics Include:

  • sexual intimacy in marriage
  • lessons learned through a divorce
  • staying strong through a miscarriage
  • how to make it through chronic illness
  • respecting your spouse
  • the impact pornography has on a marriage (OysterBed7 on 10/19)
  • the importance of doing devotionals with your spouse
  • seeking help in marriage
  • the impact of adultery in marriage
  • forgiveness in marriage
  • you can achieve true happiness in marriage
  • and much more!
You won’t want to miss a single post!  Please follow me on facebook where I will be posting links to these daily.

As an added bonus, here are some gorgeous free printables designed by Sunu Philips from Clothed In Scarlet.


If this is your first time visiting OysterBed7, Welcome!  Please stay awhile, peruse the archives and don't forget to follow me via facebook fanpage or twitter (@oysterbed7)

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