Let's enjoy a swim in the Tidepool and share laughs and tears about how these struggles have shaped

Wednesday, December 17, 2014

For the Acapella Christmas Bedroom


Why I offer eclectic music suggestions for your bedroom playlist.

Enjoy hearing amazing harmonics as a part of today's acapella Christmas offering.


Some devices will not show the video link, in that case click here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=teSuDu84kMc&list=PLwpFrtWg2EJH_rVkUBPltl-6nigImT9I8&index=5



52 Weeks to Unlock Your Libido: a Sex Drive Transformation (a previous OysterBed7 series) will be available as a weekly calendar ebook very soon!!

I’m busy putting the final touches on a series you found helpful.  The numbers and your comments have told me so.

52 Weeks to Unlock Your Libido will be in a weekly calendar format.  It uses God’s Word, science, and outside-the-box-thinking to help you create a new mindset.  God designed sex and it’s OK for you to be a sexually charged wife!

Read this introductory Sex Drive Transformation post for details about how it works.

There will be more info coming as we get closer to the late December unveiling.  I'm so excited!!


If this is your first time visiting OysterBed7, Welcome!  Please see why sex is my focus, peruse the archives and don't forget to follow me via facebook fanpage or twitter (@oysterbed7)
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Saturday, December 13, 2014

Meet the Bedroom Elf: Randy Reindear


A few years ago, a new snitch was born.  You buy him at the toy store.  His function is to report back to Santa the naughtiness of young children.  'Elf on the Shelf' is another element added to a parent’s already overwhelmed sense of Christmas tradition. 

This year, creative and insightful parents have devised the Kindness Elf.  Children awake each morning to find Kindness Elf doing a good deed and encouraging the same out of the kids.

In All I Want For Christmas is a New Sex Drive, I mentioned the ‘gotta-have-you-now’ sexual feeling isn’t necessary to have fun in the bedroom!  Relational connection and playfulness is.  With that in mind, I propose mommy and daddy have their own Bedroom Elf named Randy Reindear.

Randy Reindear (and, yes, I meant to spell him that way) has long lived at the North Pole.  He’s Rudolph’s identical twin.  Instead of a red nose, he has something else that glows.  His HEART.  Silly, what were YOU thinking?

Randy Reindear knows that for love to grow, hearts have to connect.  Randy also knows that when hearts connect, Mr. and Mrs. find time to have steamy treats in the bedroom.

Randy’s job is to help Mr. and Mrs. find time for each other during this busy season. Each morning of the 12 day countdown to Christmas, Randy hands out a new love connection.  Notes that Randy brings each morning might say: (free downloadable printable messages at the bottom)

1.  Tonight, let’s relax and relate.  Meet near the microwave for hot cocoa at 8.

2.  Remember simple delights;  Share your favorite Childhood memory as you say night-night.

3.  It’s time to find mirth.  So, find the funniest joke on earth.  (Google or just use your noodle, but make sure to share with your favorite love-doodle.)

4.  I bet you’ll blink!  Play the staring game and remember the first time those eyes made your cheeks grow pink.

5.  Buy a tiny surprise for your honey.  Text hints, may they be sweet, tender or funny.  $5 max, don’t spend too much money.  (Be patient, don’t present them yet.)

6.  Text more hints about yesterday’s gift.  Exchange the surprise when you two go beddy-bye.

7.  When the kids hit the hay, turn off all electronics and play.  One, two, three, four; let’s have a thumb war!

8.  Rock, Paper, Scissors; 5 out of 7.  The loser drives the winner to see Christmas light heaven.

9.  It’s important to play, but crucial to PRAY.  Say a goodnight prayer together this evening and thank the Lord for the ability to have light hearts.

10.  Sssshhhh, the kids are asleep.  It’s time for the quiet game.  What better use of idle lips than for a nice, warm, wet 5-minute kiss?

11.  We are both rubber.  We are both glue.  Let’s say nice things and stick to the truth.  Take turns.  Tell the other some of the nicest things they ever did for you.

12.  The kids are asleep with nary a cough.  Stow electronics and make sure they’re off.  Get under your covers with candles lit.  Whisper and snuggle, you won’t regret it!  (Extra marshmallows if you snuggle without jammies.)

Let Randy Reindear remind you of romance.  This season emphasizes children, so why not find a few minutes to re-connect with your spouse’s inner child?  Relax with your sweetie and enjoy a few Reindear games.

The most important child of this season is Jesus.  Jesus used the faith of a child as a standard for the faith we should have.  As you tap into your playful spirit, also tap into the unquestioning belief that your Lord and Savior loves you, will envelope you with peace, will provide for all your needs and will work continue to work miracles in your marriage and life.

Click image for 12 free printable messages.


52 Weeks to Unlock Your Libido: a Sex Drive Transformation (a previous OysterBed7 series) will be available as a weekly calendar ebook very soon!!

I’m busy putting the final touches on a series you found helpful.  The numbers and your comments have told me so.

52 Weeks to Unlock Your Libido will be in a weekly calendar format.  It uses God’s Word, science, and outside-the-box-thinking to help you create a new mindset.  God designed sex and it’s OK for you to be a sexually charged wife!

Read this introductory Sex Drive Transformation post for details about how it works.


There will be more info coming as we get closer to the late December unveiling.  I'm so excited!!



If this is your first time visiting OysterBed7, Welcome!  Please see why sex is my focus, peruse the archives and don't forget to follow me via facebook fanpage or twitter (@oysterbed7)


Enter your email address:


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Follow my blog with Bloglovin

Friday, December 12, 2014

All I Want For Christmas Is A New Sex Drive



Finding your sex drive has more to do with your heart than your hormones, according to a study published in November, 2014 in the Journal of Endocrinology and Metabolism.

3300 racially diverse women were tracked over a 10 year period.  They ranged in age from 42-52.  Blood was drawn and questionnaires were answered, yearly.  Their objective was, ‘To determine whether reproductive hormones are related to sexual function during the menopausal transition.’

This study ‘decomposed’ female sexual function into four domains; desire, arousal, orgasm and pain.  Dr. Captain Obvious states in the discussion section that female sexual desire is a, ‘complex functional domain.’  Sarcasm aside, I am pleased to see female sexual function being seriously explored.

The outcome of this study?  Testosterone was shown to slightly influence sex drive.  However, an emotionally satisfying relationship more positively affected sexual function than the hormone fluctuation of menopause.

This confirms what I discussed about Flibanserin (an arousal drug that is awaiting approval by the FDA).  Relationship education should be one of the first steps for ladies who are struggling with libido issues. 

This also confirms that testosterone can positively impact sexual desire slightly.  Testosterone is a hormone your body naturally produces.  I think it is much less harmful to introduce a bio-identical hormone into your body than a bio-engineered molecule (see menopausal snake oil?).  However, I do think that Flibanserin will have merit and benefit.  It’s just not going to be a cure-all that we all should reach for.  In other words, proceed with caution when Flibanserin is finally available.

Although this study focused on menopausal women, the resulting information can be important to low libido wives of all ages.  All low libido wives and their husbands, can benefit from relationship education.  All low libido wives should have their testosterone levels checked.

To be honest, this is hard news.  Adding testosterone to your blood level isn’t going to be the 100% cure to restoring the ‘gotta-have-you-now’ feeling.  It only slightly tilts your desire in the right direction.  If only a dysfunctional sex drive was as easy to correct as bad eyesight.  Pop on a pair of glasses and voila!  You can see 100%.

And, should I even call it a ‘dysfunctional’ sex drive??  There are so many factors that are unique to your situation.  Just because you are the lower drive spouse of your marriage, doesn’t necessarily make you ‘dysfunctional.’

God’s design of marital sexual intimacy wasn’t meant to only be driven by physical urges.  Testosterone may seem the easiest route to finding an increase in sexual desire.    However, it’s not the most fulfilling method of finding sexual desire.  Remember, easy does not always equal fulfilling. 

Connecting with your sweetie is going to have the most influence.  It’s the same philosophy as my post How a Husband Can Help (her reach orgasm).  Sexual arousal and the best sexual experience will naturally evolve from a bond that is kind and generous (as seen in the article I referenced in this post).

I’m here to testify that a woman can trump her own lack of sexual desire.  I am a high drive wife when it comes to desiring emotional and spiritual connection with my husband on a sexual level.  And you can be, too!!!

The hope is knowing you can create sexuality for yourself and your marriage, in spite of low physical drive.  The ‘gotta-have-you-now’ physical feeling isn’t necessary.  The better your relationship becomes with your spouse, the easier it is to have playful, fun, willingness to engage in love making.



52 Weeks to Unlock Your Libido: a Sex Drive Transformation (a previous OysterBed7 series) will be available as a weekly calendar ebook very soon!!

I’m busy putting the final touches on a series you found helpful.  The numbers and your comments have told me so.

52 Weeks to Unlock Your Libido will be in a weekly calendar format.  It uses God’s Word, science, and outside-the-box-thinking to help you create a new mindset.  God designed sex and it’s OK for you to be a sexually charged wife!

Read this introductory Sex Drive Transformation post for details about how it works.


There will be more info coming as we get closer to the late December unveiling.  I'm so excited!!



If this is your first time visiting OysterBed7, Welcome!  Please see why sex is my focus, peruse the archives and don't forget to follow me via facebook fanpage or twitter (@oysterbed7)

Enter your email address:


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Wednesday, December 10, 2014

For the 'Scrooge' Bedroom




Today's offering is the overture from the 1970's cult classic, "Scrooge, the musical," starring Albert Finney.  It has long been the movie I pop in while decorating the Christmas tree.

This sweet, wistful and energizing arrangement might be the boost you've been looking for as a lovemaking playlist.

In the case of some devices that do not show the video link, click here:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5NzMJzuyLnw



If this is your first time visiting OysterBed7, Welcome!  Please see why sex is my focus, peruse the archives and don't forget to follow me via facebook fanpage or twitter (@oysterbed7)
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Friday, December 5, 2014

What's Up?

Hi friend!

I’m in the final stages of editing OysterBed7’s eCalendar, “Unlock Your Libido: 52 Week Sex Drive Transformation.”  I have a confession.  In 2013, when I started the series, I didn’t quite finish writing 52 selections.  The 2015 weekly eCalendar will be fully loaded with all 52 Weeks!

So, that’s where I am today.  Editing and trying to maintain a sane schedule between holiday social obligations and all my other normal ‘magical’ work (*eye roll*).  In this house, I’m the Christmas elf, cooking and cleaning fairy, as well as, the lawn gnome.   Occasionally, I grump and become the bridge troll.  Mr. Muscle chips in, but he’s been swamped with a position transition. 

I don’t want to leave you empty handed, so here is a link to a great article!  It made the rounds on facebook and is viral worthy.  The article, Masters of Love, discusses research of John Gottman, noted for his on marital stability.  It’s very insightful and hope-filled.  Who knew a successful marriage boiled down to these two simple traits.  It's not rocket science.



52 Weeks to Unlock Your Libido will be in a weekly calendar format.  It uses God’s Word, science, and outside-the-box-thinking to help you create a new mindset.  God designed sex and it’s OK for you to be a sexually charged wife!

Read this introductory Sex Drive Transformation post for details about how it works.


If this is your first time visiting OysterBed7, Welcome!  Please see why sex is my focus, peruse the archives and don't forget to follow me via facebook fanpage or twitter (@oysterbed7)

Enter your email address:


Delivered by FeedBurner

Follow my blog with Bloglovin

Wednesday, December 3, 2014

For the Classical Christmas Bedroom



The coolest and smallest December flash mob I ever witnessed was in London a few years ago.

There's an area on the eastern fringe of the city called 'Covent Garden.'  I knew it only as a shopping area that had upscale shops and flea markets.  I liked the eclectic feel and how it appealed to all economic classes.  What I didn't know, is that it is also home to the Royal Opera House.  

Mr. Muscle and I walked miles in a light mist that day.  We were cold and tired and we had even been harrassed by a meth addict (He was insulted by the small amount of money we gave him).  We were still miles from our hotel when we happened upon Covent Garden.  For half an hour, I forgot about the damp and hassle and only concentrated on the extraordinary place God had put me.

Looking down into a courtyard full of quaint outdoor tables and restaurant patrons, we were suddenly serenaded by a violin, cello and tenor.  The musicians strolled in and surprised us all with a lovely Classical Christmas concert.  I was transported to the era of Dickens and was warmed by strains of angelic harmonies.

I hope you enjoy this selection of Classical Christmas music by the London Symphony Orchestra.  Thank you for allowing me to enjoy reliving this sweet memory with you.


Some devices may not show the video link.  Click this link to see it:


If this is your first time visiting OysterBed7, Welcome!  Please see why sex is my focus, peruse the archives and don't forget to follow me via facebook fanpage or twitter (@oysterbed7)
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Tuesday, December 2, 2014

The Hope of God's Mundane Miracles


Yesterday, a childhood friend of mine wrote this on facebook.

“So last weekend I was out with the kids and decided that I would get a wreath to put up this Christmas. No big deal, just throw some lights on it, plug in and go. Easy enough.

Except in my life, nothing easy is...well...easy.

See, I had forgotten that the exterior outlet was part of a circuit of outlets in my house that stopped working a few years ago. In the past it had really been more of an inconvenience than anything else. I've gotten used to seeing extension cords in my living room. However, running cords out the front door all night just didn't seem like a great option.

I've tried several times to fix the problem. All of the receptacles have been replaced and are wired correctly.

This weekend I decided that I was going to have to break down and call an electrician. I've been avoiding that because my service panel is very old and will need to be replaced. Also, as codes have changed, I am afraid that a large portion of my house will need to be rewired. But I'll do it. I should call someone before I set up the Christmas tree in front of a useless outlet and plug the lights into an extension cord running to the next room.

Flash forward to this evening. I got home from work and walked up to the front door. I stopped and looked at the unlit wreath hanging beside it and just thought, "God, it would be great if you could just turn the power on."

I plugged in the wreath.....and it lit up my porch! All of the other outlets are working as well! I found myself chuckling (which is kind of weird when you're the only one in the house) and thinking, "Well, that was way too easy!"

This event just made me realize that there are so many times that I haven't thought about going to God with my simple problems. It's easy to pray for someone when they're sick or struggling through life/death issues, But if I don't trust him with my minor problems, how in the world could I trust him with those majors?

He has a subtle way of teaching me these things.

Or maybe he just likes Christmas Lights!!

Btw, if any of you are electricians, I will be calling someone out.”

Electrical outlets seem mundane, don’t they?  Why would God even care about something so trivial?   Well, God is love.  Love cares whether it’s something big or something small.

Hearing about God’s mundane miracles in the life of my friend fills me with hope!

God is nearer than we know!  He’s always with us, we just have to reach out and ask. 
It’s like that sometimes.  We have to put our heart’s needs into words.  It’s OK to ask for what you need.  Whether it’s something minor or major. 

God wants to be involved in every facet of your life, even your sexual intimacy.
If you are struggling with sexual intimacy, whether it is physical low libido or emotional disconnection which results in low libido, ask God to be involved.  Ask him to, ‘turn on the lights,’ and show you the next step on your personal path of growth.




52 Weeks to Unlock Your Libido: a Sex Drive Transformation (a previous OysterBed7 series) will be available as a weekly calendar ebook very soon!!

I’m busy putting the final touches on a series you found helpful.  The numbers and your comments have told me so.

52 Weeks to Unlock Your Libido will be in a weekly calendar format.  It uses God’s Word, science, and outside-the-box-thinking to help you create a new mindset.  God designed sex and it’s OK for you to be a sexually charged wife!

Read this introductory Sex Drive Transformation post for details about how it works.

There will be more info coming as we get closer to the December unveiling.  I'm so excited!!






If this is your first time visiting OysterBed7, Welcome!  Please see why sex is my focus, peruse the archives and don't forget to follow me via facebook fanpage or twitter (@oysterbed7)

Enter your email address:


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Follow my blog with Bloglovin