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Thursday, October 30, 2014

Kilts May Help Her Sex Drive?

www.OysterBed7.com


(Although this post has affiliate links, I'm a wee bit Scottish and will always give you my honest opinion.)

If there was a male version of Victoria’s Secret I would want it to sell kilts.  There is something about seeing a kilt-wearing man that produces little explosions of appreciation even in this low libido wife.

Do you find men ‘dressed to kilt’ delectably appealing, too?  Many of you must.  The now defunct Squidoo polled 600 women, in 2012, asking if they found kilt-wearing men sexy.  94% said, “YES!”  In 2010, the kilt was voted the world’s favourite traditional item of clothing, with many women stating it is ‘very attractive’ on men.  This is in spite of studies which tell us women are not visually aroused sexually.

My kilt store would be called Victor McSecret.  There wouldn’t be a brief or boxer in sight.  Because, one of the mysterious things about kilts is what’s underneath.

The Scottish Highland Regiments wore nothing underneath.  The freeing tradition made its way into the civilian population and was dubbed ‘going regimental’ or ‘going commando’ because of its origin.

The pleated kilts of today evolved from a single length of woolen plaid that would have been about 10 yards long.  The earliest references to this kind of kilt was the mid-1600s.   It was pleated manually around the mid-section and secured with a belt.  After pleating and belting, there was enough extra fabric to throw over the shoulder and secure at the base of the back in the belt.

Can I prove that kilts will help all gals with low sex drive grow steamy?  No.  But, I can tell you that, ’Kilt wearing likely produces an ideal physiological scrotal temperature, which is known to be beneficial for robust spermatogenesis and good sperm quality,’ (EJO Kompanjie, Scottish Medical Journal, Feb., 2013)

Believe it or not, sperm production is not what I find most romantic about the kilt.

The kilt was, and to some degree still is, a symbol of power and might.  In 1745, the Battle of Culloden pitted Highland Scots against the southern British.  Because the kilt was a sign of national pride and were worn by mighty and powerful Scottish men, the defeated Scots were stripped of the right to wear their kilts (or tartans).  This act was repealed in 1782.  Since then, the kilt has remained a staple continually growing in popularity around the world.

Men who wear kilts today are reminiscent of those powerful, mighty and loyal men.  A kilt wearing man is a noble sight to behold.  He radiates a confident strength.

Nowadays you don’t have to be a member of a Scottish clan to wear a kilt.  You don’t have to be Scottish at all.  And you don’t have to be in the best of shapes to look dead gorgeous in a kilt, gents.

According to the comments I found around the internet, kilts will turn nearly any woman’s head.  I tend to think this is true.  A woman is drawn to strength, whether strength of mind, spirit or body.  Arousal can follow when a woman senses protection through strength.  Plus, there is just something a little exotic (or is that erotic?) about the kilt.

So, where’s a low libido gal to find a decent kilt for a fair price for her handsome noble man?
5 years ago I signed up to receive emails from Heritage of Scotland.  They always have fabulous deals on casual kilts.  They graciously sent me a kilt & ghillie shirt for Mr. Muscle for this piece!


Having shopped around the web and finding other stores selling kilts for far more, would it be quality work in spite of the good price? 
  
That question was answered nicely.  I was quite pleased at the sturdy and perfect stitching on all the pleats and the entire garment.  It’s heavier than I anticipated.  It’s not wool, but a blend of 65% Rayon/35% Acetate.   It’s machine washable!  I was delighted that it came out beautifully after washing in cold water.  It didn't shrink and none of the color faded and no ironing was needed after it was dried on a rack.  The black ghillie shirt fared just as well.

Our kilt immediately off the drying rack
and pleats are perfect.  No ironing needed.

The first day it arrived, Mr. McMuscle wore his kilt until bedtime.  He loved the breezy atmosphere.  He said it was quite comfortable.  I noticed he stood a little taller, too.
"His legs are pillars of alabaster
set on pedastals of pure gold....
and he is wholey desireable,"
Song of Solomon 5:15&16.

I anticipated he would look good.  But I didn’t expect his full striking effect!  Yeah, it gets me revved up.  I want to take him out and show him off, then bring him home and ravage him.

Husbands, if you’ve been feeling 'underappreciated,' lately, consider a kilt.  Wives, if you think a little wardrobe variety may be just what the doctor ordered for your lagging sex drive, consider a Scottish inspired gift under the Christmas tree.

I’m thinkin’ something is missing from these research studies that say women aren’t aroused by visual stimulation.  They must not be using kilts!




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Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Music for the Cinematic Bedroom


The right music can transport you through time and space to a distant memory or to a moment on the big screen.  The right soundtrack can help you have fun being 'Han Solo' and 'Princess Leah' or any of your other favorites from movies. The right music can increase your zest during a sexual encounter.  

Traditionalists will love today's offering.  John Williams is a legendary soundtrack composer.  Here is a medley of his most popular movie themes performed with big orchestral sound.




Some devices won't show the video, so here is the link:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KWe74Dmpp3s


Links to previous Bedroom Soundtracks:
If this is your first time visiting OysterBed7, Welcome!  Please see why sex is my focus, peruse the archives and don't forget to follow me via facebook fanpage or twitter (@oysterbed7)
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Tuesday, October 28, 2014

Becoming One: Take Two (Abra guest posts for O7)

Today, let's welcome back, Abra Carnahan of Mere Breath.  She's a sincere and spunky wife and mama of 4.  She inspires me because of her committment to her marriage and to the Lord through some tough seasons.  Abra set the stage for today's post last Tuesday with, Motherhood Can Be All Consuming.

Today she shares how to Create the Space, Find the Time and Find the Energy to be spicey with your husband while parenting young children.  Time is a precious commodity for mamas of littles.  I’m so grateful to Abra for finding the time and energy to write for us today.  You ROCK, Abra!






Finding privacy, time and energy for sex seem to be common dilemmas for couples with littles. For us, finding time is particularly challenging. Something my husband and I have learned is that there is no such thing as “finding” time -- you must make it. The following are collected ideas for the purpose of aiding prioritization of the marriage bed. It is our prayer that these suggestions will help couples overcome obstacles, so they can strengthen their marriages through toe-curling, mind-blowing, soul fulfilling sex:

Create the Space
1.  Be mindful of your sex life as you arrange your home. For example, my husband and I prefer not to allow our children to sleep in our bedroom (whenever possible). It keeps our room a place where we can engage freely without disturbing the kids.

2.  Lock the door. Last year we lived in a house that did not have a locking bedroom door. We were quick to install a simple hook and eye lock. I don't know about you, but I have a difficult time focusing on enjoying my husband if one of my kids could walk in on us at any moment.

3.  A friend of mine mentioned that it is difficult to find audio-privacy since their bedroom is located off the main room. Employ box or bathroom fans as white noise. You'll be able to hear if something is really wrong, but the kids won't be able to hear you well, which allows freedom to enjoy intimacy verbally. Alternately, you could use a baby monitor, but that might become unnecessarily distracting.

4.  Make your bedroom welcoming. Splurge on soft sheets. Decorate with soft lighting. When you buy a bed and frame, make sure the height will compliment your statures. If you are inclined, consider a well made canopy bed since they offer more support beams for a wider variety of positions.

5.  Keep water bottles in your bedroom. Not needing to dress in order to rehydrate creates a prolonged opportunity for post-coital cuddling (or extended intermission between rounds).

6.  Ditch the granny panties! There are some lovely, flattering underwear now that are also comfortable (Hint: Check out the Invisibles line of seamless panties by Calvin Klein). Buy comfortable, but pretty, night clothes. If you have kids, there is a good chance sleeping in the nude isn't an option. Look for slips or shorts and camisoles that are visually appealing without being overly sexy.

Make the Time

1.  Morning sex can be tricky. The countdown until you have to leave for work, the probability of morning breath and the eventuality of children waking are basic challenges. Take note of when your kids usually wake and set your alarm for an hour earlier. If you still don't have enough time, shower together slowly for a prequel to an evening seduction. Morning breath can be solved by tooth brushing, but using a mouth wash the night before helps bacteria prevention. You could also keep breath mints or Colgate's Wisp mini-toothbrushes by your bed, no water or rinsing required. If your kids are old enough, teach them how to prepare their own breakfast.

2.  Saturday and Sunday afternoons are ideal for lengthy interludes, and if your husband can come home on his lunch break, a quickie is a sure way to bless him. For young children, establish a nap time routine. Our toddlers play quietly in their rooms for 2 hours every day. It takes some work on the front end to establish the habit, but it is well worth the effort. Alternately, sit the kids in front of the television. When we were first time parents, we'd put our daughter in a pack 'n play and turn on her favorite show. She was safe and entertained for about 40 minutes. When she was older, we'd give her chocolate, too. The mess was epic, but we didn't care! If your kids are old enough, tell them that you need time with their dad. Set a timer, tell them you are off limits (unless the house is burning down) until the timer beeps. Alternately, hire a babysitter to watch your children at their house. You don't need to tell them why. ;-)

4.  Evening sex seems ideal except that, “Can I have some water?” being hollered from the next room isn't exactly a sexy soundtrack. Plan ahead and equip your kids with the necessities before closing (and locking) your bedroom door. If all else fails, when you wake up between REM cycles, gently wake your honey for a little midnight nookie.

Finding the Energy

1.  If you are too busy to have sex, take a long look at your schedule and trim the extras. Kids need their parents to love each other more then they need swim lessons. You need quality time with your husband more than the bake sale needs you.

2.  Ask your husband to let you sleep in or nap a few times a week so you can enjoy sex with him more (I doubt he will complain).

3.  Make sure you are eating well and staying hydrated. Your body can't function optimally unless you have fueled up on essential nutrients.

4.  Finally, if you've tried all these tips and are still too tired, talk to a doctor about fatigue (it can be a sign of other health problems).


What are some ways you create the space, find the time and find the energy?






Abra and her husband, Ben, live in North Idaho where she stays home with their four young children. She is passionate about pursuing God and her hobbies: reading, archery and eating cheese. You can find her at Mere Breath, on Facebook and Twitter










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Thursday, October 23, 2014

Words of Wisdom: Why I worked harder to understand sex


I am a member of the Christian Marriage Blogger’s Association.  In the month of October, we have been challenged to share Words of Wisdom we've learned from:  Family, Bible, Friends, Blogs & Books.

Today, I share wisdom I learned from friends.

A couple of good friends of mine have divorced.  What I gleaned from them astounded me.

Deep in the middle of the slamfest, before divorces were final, my friends were hurling insults and accusations.  The other spouse was worthless and had no redeeming qualities whatsoever.  They never loved them in the first place.  They only got married to get out away from their family of origin.  Or, they only got married because she was pregnant.  Or,...the reasons could be endless.

With a couple years of post-divorce clarity under their belts, these same friends have admitted it was partly their fault.  They had loved their ex-spouse.  Maybe they could have worked harder.

They could have worked harder….

My friends didn’t know they were encouraging me to work harder.

Dave and I understand how divorce happens.  We were at a point in our marriage where things could have gone down a very ugly road.  But, at the crossroads we chose to work.

I’m not some Wonder Wife, really I’m not!!  (Just this morning I messed up, again.)  What I've got going for me, is I know how to work.  I bet you have work-willingness going for you, too.  You just have to be motivated to want to work for a person you are in conflict with.

How do you get motivated to work for a husband you don’t really like at the moment?  You realize that working for the marriage is honoring God.  You set your mind on what is above, not what is on earth (Col. 3:2).  You put to death your selfish self which is the need to be justified and served. 

You realize at the core of your husband still pumps the heart you love.  It’s just buried under heaps of hurtful junk.  Hurt you both have a hand in.  You put on heartfelt compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience, accepting one another and forgiving one another (Col. 3:12).

I worked harder by trying to understand he had different ways of thinking, processing emotion and had differing opinions from me and it was OK.  We both had to embrace the phrase, “unity does not equal conformity.”

I worked harder by trying to understand sex from a positive point of view.  I tried very hard to not just listen, but hear my husband’s view point about sex.  I had to learn to trust him when he said sex was important to him.  I could no longer marginalize sex just because it wasn’t important to me.  If it was important to him, I had to make it important to me.

I had to undue false religious beliefs about sex and replace them with truth.  I had to see sex as ‘emotion in motion,’ not just physical release.

Maybe if my friends had worked harder at understanding sex, their conflict wouldn’t have escalated to the point of no return.  Did they have sexless marriages?  I don't know.  I’m only guessing that sex was part of their demise.  That topic didn't come up.  

These conversations were pre-Oysterbed7 or else I would have tried to talk about it.  In our hard season, I had no one to talk to about sex and low libido.  When I tried to start a conversation with my church lady friends there were more snide comments than genuine concern.  That told me a lot of other Christians are having trouble with sex, too.

But, I digress…

How could you work harder for your marriage?


Above all, put on love – the perfect bond of unity (Col. 3:14).

(There are scriptural reasons for divorce.  I am in no way advocating remaining in an abusive marriage.  This is meant to encourage those in ‘good-willed’ marriages that are experiencing a season of extreme discord.)


If this is your first time visiting OysterBed7, Welcome!  Please see why sex is my focus, peruse the archives and don't forget to follow me via facebook fanpage or twitter (@oysterbed7)

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Wednesday, October 22, 2014

Music for the Native American Bedroom


Why have I been posting unusual music offerings every Wednesday? 

According to a Stony Brook University study, variety and excitement are the cornerstones of marital satisfaction.

I found that when a song I'd never heard before played on Pandora during a rendezvous (and I liked the music), the 'fun factor' and 'heat quotient' fluttered to a higher level.  In other words, the new music did something for me!  Stony Brook University's findings are right on track.

That is why I am offering you different types of music to sample.  You may not like all the selections, and that's fine.  However, something may surprise you in a good way. Listen with an open mind.

I welcome music suggestions, please email me at pearlmail3@gmail.com.

For today's consideration:

Sacred Spirit
Chants and Dances of the Native Americans

Some devices won't open the video.  Here is the direct link:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KK_0dzhLBio

Links to previous Bedroom Soundtracks:
If this is your first time visiting OysterBed7, Welcome!  Please see why sex is my focus, peruse the archives and don't forget to follow me via facebook fanpage or twitter (@oysterbed7)
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Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Motherhood Can Be All Consuming

Today, I want to introduce you to Abra Carnahan of Mere Breath.  She's a sincere and spunky wife and mama of 4.  What inspires me about Abra's marriage is their committment to each other and to the Lord through some tough seasons.  Abra sets the stage today with honesty.  

Join us next Tuesday when Abra offers ways to juggle motherhood and the marriage bed. 



Ben and I were married on July 17, 2004. He was 22 and I was 20. We had been dating for 2 years and were eager to tie the knot. In the months that followed, we lived to lie naked in each other's arms. We were both working and he was still in college, but whenever we were alone our pants hit the floor! We'd set our alarm to wake us up an hour early, we'd meet at home for lunch, go to bed late and still found energy to wake one another up for a little somethin' somethin' in the middle of the night. 

Then along came our children...

Despite having difficult pregnancies, Ben and I absolutely love being parents! Ophelia was born before our second wedding anniversary and was an incredibly relaxed baby. She slept through the night, in her room, at three days old. We had recently moved across the country for Ben's teaching career. The work satisfied his soul and kept him on his toes. I found the privilege of staying home with Ophelia delightful. I remember wondering why people said motherhood was difficult...

Then along came Miss Mira. She was diagnosed with colic and rarely slept. That year Ben also became especially busy at work. We'd roll in to bed at night overwhelmed and completely exhausted. Somewhere in the midst of the chaos, we forgot to prioritize each other and, consequently, lost our unity. Gradually we transitioned into living as roommates instead of friends and lovers.

In Genesis 2, Eve is presented to Adam. He saw her nakedness and said, “At last, here is one of my own kind – Bone taken from my bone, and flesh from my flesh. 'Woman' is her name because she was taken out of man.” (vs 23) and then Scriptures states, “That is why a man leaves his father and his mother and is united with his wife, and they become one.” (vs 24).

This year Ben and I celebrated our tenth wedding anniversary, but we came close to never making it past the six year mark. 

In May of 2010, we decided together to drop everything (his career, our home, our lives in Maryland) and move back to Idaho, where we could be near family and attend our former, well established, church. I was pregnant again and my condition was steadily becoming more severe. We moved into a tiny apartment and Ben accepted a job that kept normal hours. Friends and family graciously babysat often so we could be alone together. 

We began getting regular counseling from our pastor. Together, we waded through the rubble of our marriage and began to lay a stronger foundation. It is amazing what solid teaching, sleep, and accountability can do for a relationship. Our marriage has strengthened dramatically over the last couple years. When our son, Jude, was just 7 months old, we got pregnant again with our last baby, Liam. I was the most sick I'd ever been but, unlike before, Ben and I both worked hard to keep our relationship strong. Today we are closer and more in love then we were when we said “I do” a decade ago.

In Mark 10:8-9, Jesus reminds us again that we are “to become one” in marriage, “No human being must separate, then, what God has joined together.” Jesus is talking about marital infidelity. We need to understand that when our work, our children or ourselves become more important then our marriage, we are being unfaithful to our spouse and violating the covenant we made before God.

There is a poem called Song for a Fifth Child. It is about a mom who allows all her housework to slide so she can focus on her baby. The closing verse is, “Oh, cleaning and scrubbing will wait till tomorrow, but children grow up, as I've learned to my sorrow. So quiet down, cobwebs. Dust, go to sleep. I'm rocking my baby. Babies don't keep.” Our youngest will turn 3 this spring, so it is easy for us understand the truth and importance in the poem. 

However, something we've learned is that marriages, like babies, don't keep either. 

Relationships cannot pause. When you stop drawing closer to someone, you begin to drift apart. Strong marriages aren't accidents. Any marriage left unattended for long will have divorce looming on the horizon. We need to be intentional about cultivating a healthy relationship with our spouse.

A fundamental approach to protecting your marriage from infidelity is by engaging together in sex, freely and frequently. Sometimes it is particularly easy for mothers to forget the importance of this. I did. Motherhood quickly became all consuming. But God designed women, mothers, to be sexual. The importance of the sexual relationship we have with our husband trumps everything we do in our role as mommy. The marriage bed is a magnificent gift and we must be mindful not to neglect it.

(All scripture references are from The Good News translation.)

You won't want to miss Abra's practical applications when juggling motherhood and marriage bed.  Be here next Tuesday!



Abra and her husband, Ben, live in North Idaho where she stays home with their four young children. She is passionate about pursuing God and her hobbies: reading, archery and eating cheese. You can find her at Mere Breath, on Facebook and Twitter











If this is your first time visiting OysterBed7, Welcome!  Please see why sex is my focus, peruse the archives and don't forget to follow me via facebook fanpage or twitter (@oysterbed7)

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Sunday, October 19, 2014

First Steps in Battling Pornography


I am the featured blogger today at, 31 Days to a Better Marriage.

October’s, 31 Days to a Better Marriage, (hosted by Carlie Kercheval at Managing Your Blesssings) features 31 different voices.  These voices speak on all aspects of marriage.

So, follow me over to Managing Your Blessings for my post, “First Steps in Battling Pornography.”  And if you haven't checked out the other offerings, yet, please do so after reading mine.  You might find a helpful tidbit.







If this is your first time visiting OysterBed7, Welcome!  Please see why sex is my focus, peruse the archives and don't forget to follow me via facebook fanpage or twitter (@oysterbed7)

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