Welcome to the Sexual Interest Masterclass. This is the introductory post of a series to help marriages with mismatched sex drives.
I’m driven by my emotional libido more than my physical libido.
Most of us want to experience the raw, burning passion of sexual heat. It’s exciting and makes sex easy. Many of you come here hoping I have the secret to finding the inferno inside you. Because without the inferno, sex is more difficult.
The secret to finding your inferno has to do with your physical health, your spiritual health, and your emotional health. Honestly, you may never find the inferno you once had. But, I can help you find a version of it and give you hope that sex can be easy (or almost easy) again. You just have to open your heart and mind while setting aside preconceived notions.
“What’s an emotional libido?”
Basically, it’s sexual craving inspired by emotional intimacy. An emotional libido brings us to the marriage bed because we have a deep connection on an emotional and spiritual level with our husbands and want to experience the physical connection, too.
Because of emotional libido, sometimes I engage in sexual intimacy because I know I’m meeting my husband’s higher drive needs. Sometimes, I engage because I want to feel more deeply connected with him. And sometimes, my physical libido is mysteriously and wondrously kicking in.
When did I discover emotional libido?
I discovered my emotional libido shortly after Dave and I finished a marriage class called, Dynamic Marriage. (See my previous post, Thanksgiving in the Bedroom.) This class required that Dave and I, both, explore our interactions and inner workings in a non-threatening way.
I want to help you discover your emotional libido, too. So, for the next few posts I’m going to walk you through the basics of this class. (Husbands, please, please, read along with this material!)
Dynamic Marriage is based upon the timeless research of Dr. Willard Harley. I say timeless because human nature doesn’t really change much. Dr. Harley’s books, “His Needs, Her Needs,” and, “Love Busters,” have been around for a while. They are foundational to many other marriage books on the market now.
Before we get into the meat of the class, I want to help you understand why I respect Dr. Harley’s work so much. Please see: Meet Dr. Harley. You can either just read the information on this page or watch the embedded video.
The next step is to please read the synopsis of Dr. Harley’s 10 Basic Concepts of Marriage.
In the next few posts, I will explore some of the Basic Concepts. I hope to present this in a way that will change your relationship interaction as much as it did ours. Please share this with your spouse.
“May the Lord make your love increase and overflow for each other and for everyone else, just as ours does for you,” 1 Thessalonians 3:12.