I love my higher drive sisters.
Right now, more than any other time in my life, I can relate to the yearning of a higher drive wife. My husband and I have been apart much this year due to my helping ill family members and now his job relocation. I miss sexual intimacy. I miss the sex and I miss the intimacy. So, I get it.
I must apologize to you all for any false assumptions I’ve ever made about the higher drive wife, especially that you have it easy because your physical yearning is quickly fiery. I never stopped to think that you might feel abnormal because society, especially church society, frowns upon that. I never stopped to consider how the constant rejection makes you feel repulsive.
I can imagine you have a hard time finding the right person to talk to about this, if anyone. If you share your struggle in present, your past might be questioned. Were you slutty before you got married? If you share your struggle, your marriage or husband might be questioned. What’s wrong with him? And although you also might wonder ‘what’s wrong with him,’ you are still protective of him and don’t want a blanket judgement cast upon him that he is any less than the man he is.
Hear me when I say, “Nothing is wrong with either of you!!”
Every marriage includes unique spouses and even more unique circumstances. In this season you are the higher drive spouse, but who knows what the future holds? There may be a point down the road where this will change.
Here’s what I also say to you.
In Christ, God doesn’t reject you.
“Praise be to the God and Father of Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ. For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love, he predestined us to be adopted as his sons [and daughters] through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will,” Ephesians 1:3-5, [my addition].
“Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand,” Romans 5:1.
Christ makes you his sister and therefore a beautiful princess.
“And stretching his hand out toward his disciples, Jesus said, ‘Here are my mother and my brothers! For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother,’” Matthew 12:49-50.
“Therefore Pilate said to Him, “So You are a king?” Jesus answered, “You say correctly that I am a king For this I have been born, and for this I have come into the world, to testify to the truth Everyone who is of the truth hears My voice,” John 18:34.
“The Spirit Himself testifies with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, heirs also, heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, if indeed we suffer with Him so that we may also be glorified with Him,” Romans 8:16-17.
Christ completes you.
“For in Him all the fullness of Deity dwells in bodily form, and in Him you have been made complete, and He is the head over all rule and authority,” Colossians 2:9-10.
Christ will give you His wisdom, power, and strength to face the future.
“My purpose is that they may be encouraged in heart and united in love, so that they may have the full riches of complete understanding, in order that they may know the mystery of God, namely, Christ, in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge,” Colossians 2:2-3.
Be courageous and confidant, high drive wives, by absorbing the truths above. Realize your worth separate and apart from your husband.
Your physical high drive is maddeningly loud. It drowns out the soft melody of your spiritual essence, unless you quiet your heart.
Quiet your heart with the truths above and with these last lines.
You are a higher drive wife and it’s OK. There is NO SHAME in having a healthy desire for consummating in the marriage bed often and vigorously with your husband.
Ultimately, my ministry here is to empower women. I happen to focus on the low drive wife, trying to help her undertand how important sexual intimacy is to her husband, to her marriage, to herself, and to God. I always want you to feel accepted here, my high drive friend.
I’m praying this for you, “I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge – that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.” Ephesians 3:14-21.
At the moment, the Christian blog world is sorely lacking a high drive wive’s perspective. If you don’t have the time to start a full blown blog but would still like to minister to other wives with your story, please contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org. Chris (forgivenwife.com) and I would like to open up our joint minstry, Heart Craving, to include our higher drive sisters. I look forward to hearing from you!!!
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