Here’s a scenario to consider:
You reach for your vibrator at the beginning of a rendezvous only to find it’s lifeless with dead batteries. How would you respond?
Would you be mildly dismayed?
Or, would you freak out? Are you pursuing orgasm so hard that disappointment would consume your ability to be in the moment with your husband?
Consider all sexual enhancements through 1 Corinthians 6:12, “All things are lawful for me, but not all things are profitable. All things are lawful for me, but I will not be mastered by anything.”
“Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral,” Hebrews 13:4.
Orgasm is an important perk to sexual intimacy. But, it’s only a third of the whole package God designed. The other two important parts of sexual intimacy is emotional and spiritual bonding.
Think of sexual intimacy as a three piece diamond & pearl jewelry ensemble; bracelet, necklace and matching earrings.
If someone handed you three pieces of jewelry, you wouldn’t just take the necklace and trash the bracelet and earrings. Don’t trash the spiritual and emotional element of sex. It’s the key to lifting low-libido, ladies.
As I mentioned in 50 Shades of Uncertainty, Satan’s ploy is to make us think sex is only about physical pleasure. He wants us to forget about the bracelet and earrings! He doesn’t want us to experience three dimensional, soul satisfying, sexual intimacy.
(Interestingly, my libido started to perk up when I began to explore the spiritual and emotional component.)
We should do everything to the glory of God and that includes sex toy use. Does it complement your experience or is it the headliner?
There’s a rumor that if you use a vibrator too often on too intense of a setting, you will lose clitoral sensitivity. It’s similar logic to hearing loss from lots of exposure to loud music. I was unable to find any scientific articles that stated clitoral sensitivity would be lost forever.
What I think is happening is something called habituation. It is temporary.
“Habituation occurs when we are repeatedly exposed to a stimulus and our response is lessened over time as a result due to the regularity of it.
Two everyday examples include our ability to stop hearing ambient noise when concentrating on a particular task, and the fact that we stop feeling the clothes we are wearing once we are dressed.” (Source)
The good news is, according to all the medical forums I perused, when you stop using a vibrator clitoral sensation will return. If you are losing clitoral sensation from habituation, you may want to weigh if you are too dependent.
I am not against sex toy use. I hear from frustrated woman after frustrated woman who have no ability to orgasm, until she and her husband introduce a vibrator. It’s not a reflection of her husband’s lovemaking ability. It might just be a reflection of her clitoral wiring. Everyone is different when it comes to sensitivity level.
Introducing a new little gizmo could help. Variety can put zing in the experience.
However, be very careful that your primary focus is on your flesh and blood lover, not the machine.
I agree with many others who also caution the use of toys that resemble real body parts (or that blow up to look real-ish). This moves too close to the line of a real person defiling the marriage bed. It may not cross the line, but I like to stay at least two car lengths away from sin.
Ultimately, the decision to use any kind of toy is between you and your husband and God. Pray about their use. Ask God to show you if your gadget is bringing you spiritually closer to your spouse or creating an emotional barrier?
For suggestions on how to free yourself of sex toy dependence, read, How Do I Orgasm Naturally?
Others’ thoughts on sex toys
The Forgiven Wife: Toy Store Story (kind of about sex toys)