Sexual objections aren’t any different from other kinds of objections we have in life. No amount of persuading is as effective as an attitude shift. Here’s how an acquaintance completely changed my perspective on overcoming objections. I’ll give you a little backstory.
The objections I’ve heard since January revolve around a fundraiser for Christian Women’s Job Corps that I help chair.
The fundraiser is called, “Parade of Tables.” It involves individuals or businesses sponsoring tables that seat 8. The sponsors are responsible for decorating and setting the tables, as well as, inviting friends to fill the seats.
The objections to sponsoring a table sound like this;
“I don’t know anybody in town to invite.”
“There is not one creative bone in my body.”
Depending on the person, I either push with persuasion to overcome their objection or I leave them alone.
Every once in a blue moon, a soul comes along believing so strongly in our cause that no inability stops her from helping.
“I can’t decorate worth a hoot and I live an hour away, but I’m sending you a check to sponsor a table. The table won’t look outstanding, but I’ve got 8 place settings and a few friends who might come.”
She said, “Yes,” for the good of the cause, not because her talent matched the task.
Her response also humbled me. When is the last time I laid aside my doubts and inabilities for the good of the cause? When is the last time I said, “Yes,” to something I find difficult to do?
As low libido wives, it’s easy to have lots of objections.
My sexual objections have come in the form of,
“Sex? I’m too tired from dealing with three kids all week by myself because you’ve been on a business trip. It takes a lot of energy to ramp up for a rendezvous.”
“You’ve got to be kidding! You have been such a jerk to me today.”
Here’s what I learned from my favorite table sponsor about overcoming sexual objections.
You summon willingness and courage when you believe in the cause (in spite of little natural talent or ability).
Here’s another objection:
“He wants a wildcat in bed and that’s not me. Why even bother?”
How can you consider this?
- If a husband can lower his expectations about enthusiasm, more satisfaction will result. A lot of husbands want wild enthusiasm which I believe is a notion from movies and pornography. It is not real life.
- The higher drive spouse needs to be in tune with how busy a day has been. It is not fair to demand a high energy lovemaking session after a day that has depleted the lower drive spouse of stamina.
- On the other hand, a wife can be more animated even if it is difficult at first. She can save some energy through the day. Her willingness and courage are in line with who she is. Her personal brand of enthusiasm may look nothing like what the husband envisions. Be open to altering your expectations, gentlemen.
Make love to the wife you have.
As a low libido wife, being totally accepted and cherished in the marriage bed helps build the consistency a husband desires. This includes having my willingness and lovemaking personality valued over wild animation.
However, as God would have it, the more I’m valued, the more I’m enthusiastic. Husband and low libido wife can delightfully meet in the middle. In the end, the marriage bed is about connecting, emotionally and spiritually, not just physically.
She said, “Yes,” because she believed in our cause.
I believe in marriage. I believe in Dave, my husband. I believe God. He says sexual intimacy in marriage is important.
I believe, with God’s help, you can enjoy sexual intimacy even if you have a low physical desire.
I am still a low libido wife physically, but I’m a high drive wife when it comes to desiring emotional and spiritual connection with my husband. (I have to tell you writing that, this moment, is a major revelation!! I’ve never thought of it that way before until this moment.)
You, too, can be a high drive wife in spite of your physical limitations!
When you believe in something you can overcome your own objections.
“Restore to me the joy of your salvation
and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me,”
First time visiting? Welcome!
You may want to start by reading, “Why Sex?”
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