Love and Robinson, authors of Hot Monogamy, state that couples who can converse together comfortably about their sex life rate their sex life as more satisfying.
She makes a very good point, that critical conversations should not take place in the bedroom. I agree with her that negativity be kept clear of the delicate marriage bed.
But, if part of your low libido nature could be helped through a more pleasurable experience in the bedroom, I’ve stumbled across three little letters for you.
Michael Castelman at Psychology Today states, “If you’re reluctant—or unable—to provide the direction you think your lover needs, here’s a simple, effective, one-word remedy. Simply say “yes” when you enjoy what’s happening, and remain silent when you’re less than thrilled. That’s all there is to it—and it works. Over a few months, just saying “yes” is virtually guaranteed to get you more of what you want and less of what you don’t.
Erotic arousal is contagious. The more you show that you’re turned on, the more turned on your lover is likely to become—and provide what clearly arouses you. Sighs, moans, and groans can communicate arousal. But “yes” works better, especially when you say it with feeling: “Oh, Man, yes!” or “Ooooo, ye-e-es!” Lovers naturally provide more of whatever elicits that magic word, and less of what’s greeted by silence.”
Practice saying Yes!
I’m serious. If you find it difficult to speak during a rendezvous, practice saying, “Yes!” while driving in the car (without kiddos, of course). Your, “Yes!” doesn’t have to be over the top like an Herbal Essence commercial. A breathy whisper will work just fine.
For some lovers, speaking much more than one or two words is distracting from love making.
“….To add words to lovemaking can dilute it, even degrade it. My wife doesn’t understand that. She insists that I say it in words,” Male respondant on page 52 of Hot Monogamy.
However, one little word isn’t going to be annoying. Give, “Yes!” a try and see if it directs in a gentle and pleasing way.
“Let your, ‘yes,’ be, ‘yes,’……..……,” Matthew 5:37.