I was 1 of 732 women attending SheSpeaks2013.
SheSpeaks is a Proverbs31.org speakers’/writers’ training conference. It was held July 25-28 in Charlotte, NC.
Several women wanted clarification, “What was that?”
Mental note, I must learn to enunciate the word, libido, more precisely.
Maybe the phrase, sex drive, could have been busted out more often. But, I did want to remain delicate. You may think the phrase, sex-drive, is bland, but say it in the ladies bathroom at a Christian conference and watch the decibel level disappear. You’ve got everybody’s attention.
When the word, libido, sunk into their brains, their eyes usually told me all I needed to know. 95% of the time I had a genuine positive reaction.
It’s about time the church started talking about this!
Can I talk to you more later?
This is so needed!
My husband and I…..
Questions didn’t pour out of their mouths, stories poured out of their hearts. They wanted to share.
Granted, this is a population of women in ministry. Most of them are extroverts and have a passion for tough topics. A sample of topics I came in contact with were; cutting, abortion, divorce, cancer, single motherhood, rape, self-value, widowhood, death of a child, finding your value in Christ and bringing the family back to the dinner table.
My beautiful sister, Jolene Engle, marched with me in Charlotte. The Alabaster Jar equips Christian wives and deals scripturally with a variety of marital and sexual issues. She is truly a ‘wise woman’ in Christ. It was a complete blessing to get to know my sister blogger in real life! I wish I could get to know more of you!!!
Trends I observed from my small sample:
- The younger the woman, the more at ease she was discussing sex.
- About 25% of the ladies I spoke with are higher drive, confirming statistics. They are feeling weird about admitting that. They felt much more at ease when they were told of their other higher drive sisters out there.
- Single women desire to have an open discussion about their sexual issues. How do they manage/cope with their natural sexual needs as single adults while waiting for their future husband?
Here’s why I’m excited. If ministry leaders are willing to start the conversation about sex, we can begin a Grassroots Paradigm Shift.
Grassroots Paradigm Shift: A change in basic assumptions through influence on the local level, even the influence of one….YOU. (See the-generous-husband’s: Grass Roots Marriage Movement)
“For nothing is hidden that will not become evident, nor anything secret that will not be made known and come to light,” Luke 8:17.
The Lord showed me through these conversations that the Christian community is on the cusp of reclaiming sexual intimacy for God. It’s time to specifically point sexual intimacy back to Christ by speaking not just writing about it.
For too long, Christian women have viewed sex as satan’s domain, not Christ’s*. I believe in my gut, that if more Christian women can talk comfortably about the celebration of sexual intimacy, we can create a Grassroots Paradigm Shift.
Reclaiming sexual intimacy for Christ isn’t just for the satisfaction of the husband and wife. The long term goal is that as a unified team, that husband and wife will be able to mentor future generations.
What would a generation of marriages look like that struggle less with sexual sin? A healthy dialogue about marital sexual intimacy will reshape its false identity of dirty, nasty, shameful. A healthy dialogue will help the victims of sexual pollution hold up their heads.
With healthy Christ-centered dialogue over a period of time will there be less victims? If children are brought up in homes that are balanced, maybe less pedophiles and molesters will be created and pornographers will go out of business.
We can begin the restoration of our society! We can rescue sex out of satan’s domain. What an awesome thought! Do you think I’m dreaming too big? My God can do anything.
“Where were you when I laid earth’s foundations? Tell me if you understand.” Job 38:4.
and he gives me strength to share the truth about sexual intimacy.
“Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you,” Deuteronomy 31:6.
Here’s where I’m starting; I actually told my jazzercise friends about my blog. I may have revealed my identity to you back in March, but not many of my real life friends know, just a few. God has convicted me to talk about it, inside and outside of church!!! Perfect love casts out fear. I’m going to use the strength of Christ’s love to love on my people. Sexual intimacy is God-ordained. It’s fun! It’s messy and it’s OK.
Lisa Terkuerst has said take your mess and make it your message. In my life, sex has been messy. But, I’m gaining a clearer voice because Christ is leading the way.
This isn’t going to happen overnight. But, we can do it!! Is God calling you to lead the way in your circle of friends?
*DISCLAIMER: Not all, but a lot!